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Didier Drogba takes football theatrics to seizure-tastic new levels

Jonas ‘Spiderman’ Gutierrez finally scores… but leaves his Spidey mask in the dressing room
[The Sun]

Game of the weekend: Lyon 5 - Marseille 5
[101 Great Goals]

6 stadiums which have sold their souls - although ‘Bargain Booze Stadium’ conjures fond memories of The Spoiler’s student days
[Telegraph]

John Terry will now have a special chant for every member of his family
[News of the World]

Are Eboue and Sagna ready to quit Arsenal’s goal party?
[Caught Offside]

Wee Gordon Strachan thinks marriage is the key to Boro’s problems
[Off The Post]

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Fergie helps to push Jonny Evans down the aisle during a press conference
[Off The Post]

Nereida Gallardo is on the cover of Portuguese Maxim
[Poprosa via Kickette]

Revealed: Roma’s terrifying new stadium
[Dirty Tackle]

Dallas have finally won at the Cowboys Stadium, and this couple were keen to celebrate (NSFW)
[Deadspin]

Carlos Tevez won’t be offering Utd fans the courtesy he showed West Ham
[Daily Mail]

Who actually owns Leeds Utd?
[The Guardian]

Luca Toni looks set to join West Ham in January
[The Telegraph]

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Sporno fan Daniel has sent in this stunning example of pandering to the referee. If you’ve seen any good sport/ porn hybrids, send them here and we’ll send you ten shiny English pounds if we use it.

Video: (Fat) Ronaldo scores his first goal for Corinthians
[Off The Post]

Milan line up £30m bid for Nemanja Vidic and Jonny Evans
[Daily Mail]

Fergie thinks Inter will play for penalties
[The Guardian]

Mourinho claims he may have to play a striker in defence
[Football365]

Didier Drogba thinks the new Chelsea boss is ignoring him
[The Telegraph]

Cheryl Cole is upset with Cashley
[WAGs Blog]

Ryan Giggs: True Red pulls out all the stars

On Monday, a DVD celebrating Ryan Giggs’ illustrious 17-year career will be released, and in celebration a premiere of the film was held in Manchester. Carlos Tevez, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wes Brown, Rio Ferdinand, Anderson, Nani, Patrice Evra, Nemanja Vidic, Park Ji-Sung, Dimitar Berbatov, Owen Hargreaves, Jonny Evans, John O’Shea and Michael Carrick all walked the carpet rocking a snazzy jeans/ white shirt/ blazer combo in honour of the Welshman. Rio even augmented his outfit with a cravat, making him look dead sophisticated.

Celebrity fans Angus Deyton, Peter Hook and monkey man Ian Brown also turned out, but those reinforced crowd barriers were severly tested by the cream of Manchester’s acting talent, including True Red narrator Ralf Little, Will Mellor, Max Beesley and Corrie’s Kevin Webster.

Liam Fray of The Courteneers said:

Today’s gossip, rumours and damned lies

Arsene Wenger has idly watched Liverpool waste all summer trying to sign Gareth Barry, safe in the knowledge that the second they do, he can swoop to sign Alonso for £2 million less. Quite why Benitez is making such a fuss swapping a player who is virtually the same age, value and position as his Jason Bateman look-alike is a mystery, but at the moment it looks as though the Frenchman will have the last laugh.

Dean Ashton to Newcastle
Last month Aiden McGeady was supposedly destined for a move to Tyneside just days after signing a long-term deal with Celtic and now it’s being reported that West Ham are desperate to get rid of Ashton a month after giving him to a big-money five-year deal.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Nonsense

Andy Johnson to Fulham
Roy Hodgson proved that he’s a wily old fox by attempting to slice £4 million off the striker’s transfer fee