The least frugal investments in the beautiful game

With the news that Kaka may substitute hopes of silverware and European football for the chance to play in the Premier League*, The Spoiler has considered the top ten biggest wastes of money in Premier League history.

*We’re not saying Kaka won’t live up to a £100m price tag, but… actually yes, we are saying that. No one could possibly live up to such a ridiculous fee.

Andriy Shevchenko (£30m)
AC Milan to Chelsea, 2006
AC Milan’s second highest top scorer of all time put away 127 league goals in less than 200 starts for the Rossoneri, but managed just nine in two years at the Bridge. He was months away from his 30th birthday when he moved to England, which made the size of the fee even more alarming. Chelsea’s tails were firmly between their legs when they resold him to Milan last summer for an undisclosed fee - unlikely to be in excess of £5m.

Gaizka Mendieta (£29m)
Valencia to Lazio, 2001
Following an impressive spell with Valencia where he lead the side to back-to-back Champions League Finals, the two-time European Midfielder of the Year went to Lazio. He lasted just one season in Italy, scoring no goals. A loan spell back to Barcelona ensued, and then Middlesbrough, for whom he only made 26 league starts in three seasons before being released.

Juan Sebastian Veron (£28.1m)
Lazio to Manchester United, 2001
Man United broke the British transfer record in 2001 after Veron’s instrumental role in Sven-Goran Eriksson’s Lazio side (which won the league, the Coppa Italia and the Italian Super Cup the previous year). Although United made the mistake of bringing the Argentine to England, Chelsea’s decision to pay £15m after seeing his incompatibility with the English game was even

Man needs calculator…

Once again, Peter Kenyon has proved his worth as one of the lord God’s most unnecessary creations by insisting that Shevchenko might even have been a good bit of business for Chelsea.

“I’m not giving a lesson in accountancy,” he grumped, “but you do write money off over the term of a contract.”

It’s an interesting point. But, unfortunately, even without one of his important accountancy lessons, we can’t help but sense some slightly bad business in the sum below: