Men with tempers, stop reading now…

It’s that heady time of summer when the transfer window edges open, and swathes of footballers are given permission to seek a better life away from whatever Siberian/Spanish/Newcastle Hell-hole they’ve been rotting in for the last few years. They get to negotiate sparkling new deals, cast off the cobwebs and move happily into a new chapter of their great lives. So why can’t football fans?

Why can’t the simple man on the street renegotiate his allegiance to, say, Wigan, and head off to the shops to buy himself a bright red Man United jumper, politely inform his family and friends that he now wants to be known as “Red Phil” as opposed to “Wigan Phil”, and then spend next season getting into fights over Wayne Rooney, all the while enjoying some actual joy in his life for the first time. Possibly ever. Is it too much to ask? Is it?