Hope everyone enjoyed the summer - those were two pretty hot days. But don’t wrap up and sit patiently for Christmas just yet, there’s still some movement on the transfer market. Here’s the latest…

Steven Gerrard to Inter Milan
If Crouch is worth £15 million, Benitez probably has Gerrard at around £9 zillion. Inter might need to go back with their £25 million and come back with something a little more realistic, huh Rafa?

Aliaksandr Hleb to Barcelona
Spagetti-legged Hleb is so keen to get away from Arsenal that he’s apparently ready to fork out millions to get out of his contract. All the talk has been of Inter, until today when someone from Barcelona coughed and everyone got suspicious. Spill the beans, Hleb.

Ahh, Saint George’s Day - the one day of the year when you can go into the office with your tatts out and blood on your knuckles and no one even bats an eyelid. Because if they do, that’s fighting talk, their eyelid is taking the mick, thinking it’s better than you. Stupid eyelid, coming over here in it’s boat, sneaking past customs, taking our women…

Makes you proud to be English.

The Saint George’s transfer talk reads a little something like this:

Steve Sidwell to Aston Villa
Aston Villa goes to bed every single night and dreams of becoming a Top Four/Five club - and word has it that to make such a transition you need to sell your best player to Liverpool, and bring in Chelsea’s… wait for it… STEEEEEEVE Siiiiiiidwelllllll - hang on, that can’t be right…

Samuel Eto’o to Tottenham
Eto’o said, verbatum: “If next year we continue the same without winning titles here, I will have to go to another place because what I want is to win.” Spurs bloggers heard: “I very much adore Juande Ramos and would love to come to Tottenham Hotspur to defend the Carling Cup.” Unlikely, surely?

Being people who breakfast doesn’t hinder The Spoiler’s progress, in fact, quite the opposite, much can be learnt from a simple trip to a local breakfasterie. Here’s what the people are saying in between sausage and eggs and slurps of finest splosh:

Emmanuel Adebayor to AC Milan or Juventus
Despite lurching around the pitch, accidentally knocking in twenty-one goals as he goes, the animated chat is that the lanky one might be more suited to the slower pace of Italian footie. Arsenal are after something a little more whippet-like for the box, apparently.

Tal Ben Haim to Tottenham
Now that he’s wept to the press, HUMILIATING his handsome manager, who would ever want Tal Ben Haim on their books? In a word, Tottenham Hotspur United.

Aquilani’s sass mouth earns him a decking

Instead of helping their side lose 1-0 to Juventus this weekend, Christian Panucci and Alberto Aquilani warmed the Roma bench. At training yesterday, Panucci was telling teammate Philippe Mexes about a new tattoo he was planning, when Aquilani interrupted with one of the wittiest comments ever to fall from a footballer’s lips:

“Maybe you should get a tattoo of yourself sitting on the bench in Torino.”

Instead of firing back a witty retort, or pointing out that Alberto was also on the bench at the weekend, Panucci resolved the situation with fisticuffs, and three teammates had to pull him off of his sharp-tongued teammate.

England’s stern new gaffer has run into a little tax difficulty

The Italian tax detectives have been pointing their magnifying glasses at the bank accounts of Fabio Capello recently, reports Milan’s Il Giornale. Mr Capello, a one-time employee of Juventus, a club whose enthusiasm for football took a back seat to their love of corruption for many years, is being looked at for “suspected tax evasion.”

The manager’s lawyer son Pierfilippo said,