England/Andorra, 8.15pm, ITV1, Free Bets, Best Odds

If there is one criticism of England under Fabio Capello, it’s that they take too long to break down minnows. It took them 49 minutes to score against Andorra in Barcelona, 52 to find a way past Kazakhstan at Wembley and then 40 away to them last weekend. Andorra boss David Rodrigo plans to frustrate the Three Lions tonight, although Betfair odds of 219/1 (actually down from 239/1 earlier today) show that he’s not expected to have much success. Here are some stats from our friends at chickendinner about tonight’s game:

Click here to claim a £25 no loss bet with Betfair

» England have won their three previous meetings with Andorra without conceding a goal, scoring ten in the process.

» Andorra coach Rodrigo’s claimed that “England have always had problems when they have played against us and have been made to work hard to get the first goal.” However, they were beaten 5-0 on their last trip to Wembley in 2006 with the opening goal coming in the fifth minute from Peter Crouch.

» The minnows have lost their last 20 competitive games and their overall record in qualifying games is P58 W1 D2 L55. They’ve taken just a point from

England/Andorra, World Cup Qualifier, 8.15pm, ITV1

The Three Lions are ever-so-slight 1/200 favourites to make it seven wins out of seven in the World Cup qualifiers against an Andorra side who have never won away from home. This is how The Spoiler would line up.

We disagree with the idea of playing Gary Neville ahead of Glen Johnson, who is a yellow card away from suspension. Fabio Capello wants everyone available to face Croatia at home but we feel having players ruled out for the game after that away to Ukraine could prove just as dangerous.

The biggest talking point is who will partner Frank Lampard in midfield with Gareth Barry suspended and Michael Carrick, Owen Hargreaves and Scott

Kazakhstan/ England, WC Qualifier, Sat, 4pm, Setanta Sports 1

The Three Lions could continue their 100 per cent record in 2010 World Cup Qualifiers tomorrow, something that the bookies believe is a near certainty. The Spoiler also believes Fabio Capello will bring three points back to Blighty, and will do so starting with the 4-2-3-1 formation shown above.

We believe Robert Green will earn a cap, thanks to another great domestic season and the costly errors of Mr Robinson and Mr Carson. Matthew Upson was Man of the Match on his last away start for England in Germany, and therefore gets in ahead of Joleon Lescott (who has never really shone at international level) and Gary Cahill, whose newbie status means he’s unlikely to start.

We were toying with putting Michael Carrick in ahead of Gareth ‘Moneybags’ Barry, but the Manchester Utd star was poor in the Champions League final, and his City equivalent has played almost every game under Capello.

Crouchie’s international scoring record is a thing of beauty (13 goals in the last 13 he has started), so he should keep his place over Emile Heskey (whose form has dipped since joining Aston Villa) and Carlton Cole (who has only started once in two months because he got injured on the crappy Wembley pitch).

Let us know your opinions and choices for the starting line-up below…

Also appearing on a computer near you…

America’s World Cup campaign has been backed by the guy from Kindergarten Cop
[Off the Post]

Why the Kazakhstan/ England game is a big deal for our Central Asian friends
[BBC]

Stoke chase Richard Dunne
[Goal.com]

What the 2008/09 Premier League Fair Play table tells us
[Pies]

Has Liverpool target David Silva slipped through their fingers?
[Daily Mail]

“Kaka has already signed for Real,” says Zinedine Zidane.
[Sky Sports]

Stevie G’s ex Jennifer Ellison makes a good case in the defence of hot Scouse ladies
[The Sun]

Discover the identity of Franck Ribery’s English equivalent….

The interview above comes courtesy of talkSPORT Magazine, which this week also features a rather good translation of Prince William and David Beckham’s speeches during the 2018 World Cup bid. Check it out after the jump…

Irish TV network is on the brink of collapse

Since they lost half of their Premier League live rights for the 2010-2011 season, Setanta Sports have been teetering closer and closer towards administration.

The Ireland-based TV network have been unable to pay a £3m bill to the Scottish Premier League, which doesn’t put them in a particularly good position to pay the impending £40m bill coming from the English Premier League. They must now rely on hefty investment from third parties or a takeover bid to stop them collapsing.

If Setanta were to become insolvent, a fire sale of all their TV rights would probably occur, meaning their grossly overvalued contracts (including the £425m one for England and FA Cup games) could fall into the hands of rivals for knock-down prices.

A surprise lifeline may actually come from big-dog rivals Sky, who have been asked to provide a £50m interest free loan in exchange for Setanta becoming part of the Sky Sports package.It may sound like a bizarre request, but it is actually in Sky’s interest to keep their weak competitor afloat, rather than letting a huge shark like ESPN into the tank. It is The Spoiler’s understanding that BSkyB will do just about anything

Merry supporter gets a cap in his ass

The 2006 factual documentary Borat would have us believe that Kazakhstan and its neighbouring countries are not quite civilised enough to be familiar with firearms, but an England fan has found out that this is not quite the case.

Getting in some serious drinking preparation before Saturday’s World Cup Qualifier, an over zealous supporter and his friends were chanting in a bar in Kyrgyzstan, apparently oblivious to the fact that Kyrgyzstan is an entirely different country to Kazakhstan (just like we were before we looked it up on Wikipedia).

A local in the bar took exception to their obnoxious singing and asked them to stop. When they failed to comply, the angry Kyrgyzstani skipped the part where he asked them politely again, instead choosing to shoot one of them in the leg with a pistol.

The injured man - believed to be from Rochdale - was rushed to a hospital, where the bullet was removed. He is said to be recovering after discharging himself, but it is not known if he has stopped chanting yet.

A tip of the hat to handsome devil Brooks Peck for the image

And not just because the fans need to find someone else to boo

John Terry and Ashley Cole are both returning to Chelsea after being ruled out of Wednesday’s game in Belarus and while Cole may have made a dreadful mistake against Kazakhstan, his hamstring injury is bad news for England.

England have won each of the last seven competitive games that Cole has started. In the last two qualifiers he missed, first Joleon Lescott covered for him away to Russia and England were beaten 2-1 and then Wayne Bridge tried to fill the void against Croatia at Wembley when England fell to a disastrous 3-2 defeat.

Considering those two players are Fabio Capello’s only alternatives in Minsk on Wednesday, it’s a shame Lampard and Gerrard still don’t have a clue how to play together because Gareth Barry filling in at left-back might be the only way to break this curse and avoid disaster.