The players who form the backbone of the top flight

On Wednesday, we brought you the Pepe Reina-free Big Four XI, and today it’s time to look at the best of the rest. The likes of Jo and Luka Modric have been excluded as we’ve yet to see how they adapt to Premier League football. Plus, there’s no Dimitar Berbatov because we’re assuming he’s off to Old Trafford, or maybe the Nou Camp.

Shay Given (Newcastle)
Why Given over James, Friedel and Howard, you ask? Well, the other three can always rely on their defence for support which is a luxury that the Newcastle goalkeeper has never been blessed with. The Irishman is the only man this century to twice wear the number one jersey in the PFA’s Team of the Year.

Gareth Bale (Tottenham)
The young left-back was one of Spurs’ only solid performers at the start of the last campaign before an injury in December ruled him out for the rest of the season. The Welshman also boasted an impressive scoring record with three goals in nine domestic starts.

Richard Dunne (Manchester City)
Despite his error last night, the Irishman is one of the best defenders

In between lovely slices of mango and giant slurps of caffeine-free Diet Coke, The Spoiler has perused and foraged the transfers underworld, and these gems were lurking in the shrubbery. So to speak.

Tony Adams to Arsenal
Hey what’s wrong Arsene? Feeling a wee bit sensitive because your attacking team has problems defending? Oh stop weeping, man, just get Tony Adams in to help you out! (Or so it would seem, apparently).

Kaka OR Leo Messi to Chelsea
Clearly learning nothing whatsoever from the Shevchenko debacle, Roman Abramovich has apparently declared that this summer he wants to hurl around £100 million, preferably in the direction of Kaka, or Messi… or Pele… or Maradona…