At 34, is it not time to be packing this shit in?

Coming to a computer near you…

England star gets hand put in his face, and then gets angry
( 101gg )

England star gets barred from club, and then gets headbutty
( The Sun )

England star gets three points at Portsmouth, and then gets very drunk
( Daily Mail )

Birmingham City star (not quite the same) is banned from a nightclub
( Dirty Tackle )

And now for something completely different. Have you ever wanted an index of all rude player names? Are you really that juvenile? Ah, ok. Midfielddynamo have helpfully compiled one.

Could the World Cup hopeful go from Los Angeles to Lancashire?

When his self-imposed US exile expires, David Beckham is likely to rejoin AC Milan: he recently reasoned that the move would be born out of “patriotism” and passionate for his country”, perhaps not realising that Milan isn’t in England.

However, a transfer back to the Premiership is still a possibility, and the latest club to be thrown into the fray are Blackburn. They are linked to Mr B via 412-year-old Spanish defender and former Real Madrid teammate Michel Salgado:

“David and I are still friends. He asked me all about my new club.

“Could I get David to Blackburn? Of course I’ll have to speak with him.

“The problem might be we have to collect money from the players to pay his wages.”

Spoiler bonus: We don’t think that Beckham will be lured to Ewood Park by the prospect of playing with his old amigo, so Blackburn will have to remain internationally famous only for its mention in this song…

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Apple inadvertently get some good publicity at Cowboys Stadium
[SportsByBrooks]

Cheryl Cole wants to buy Newcastle Utd and buy Ashley Cole
[Off The Post]

Chelsea’s official team photographer is clearly a groin fan
[MRWF]

Ian Wright accused of ‘raping’ South Africa of its talent
[Daily Mail]

LA Galaxy are interested in Raymond Domenech’s best mate Thierry Henry
[Goal.com]

Alex Hleb realises he probably shouldn’t have left Arsenal
[The Independent]

David Beckham is to blame for the Lescott boo boys
[The Telegraph]

Melanie Slade in German FHM
[Caught Offside]

Spoiler promotion: Fancy a free punt? Of course you do, silly billy! Check out hundreds of pounds worth of free football bets at
OLBG Sports

Insult this man’s wife and he WILL shake your hand

David Beckham Utd visited the Kansas City Wizards on Saturday, and despite clicking his heels three times, the England star could not escape more abuse from American soccerball fans.

While waiting to take a throw-in during the live televised match, Beckham turned and approached a fan wearing an England shirt, and was heard asking: “Is that an England shirt?” Shortly after this shrewd line of inquisition, the midfielder shook the fan’s hand. Normally, such gesture signifies a friendly greeting, but as we learnt last week, Mr B only shakes hands when he’s in a fightin’ mood.

After the game, he revealed the angry nature of the confrontation:

“He shouldn’t be wearing that shirt because what he was saying about my wife was a disgrace.”

The Spoiler is a little confused by Beckham’s sudden need to rise to this kind of abuse. Football fans - many of whom own England shirts - have been throwing ungentlemanly Posh Spice jibes at him for ten years, why the sudden needs to lash out and shake hands in anger?

Spoiler bonus: The game finished 1-1. Check out some piss-poor MLS-style defending and a very cheeky 60-yard lob after the jump…

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Ahead of the Wembley Tournament Thingy, Barca president Joan Laporta shows his mad keep-up skills
[101GG]

Robbie Keane kicks off Tottenham’s annual pre-season high expectations by saying they can break the Big Four
[Football365]

The top five worst directors of football
[Off The Post]

Free Pies!
[Sports Jouralists]

David Beckham denies putting his LA pad on the market
[Guardian]

Harry Redknapp eyes up Richard Dunne
[Tribal Football]

Friday YouTube treat: A dog on a bicycle
[Warming Glow]

Americans say mean things about Tom Cruise’s mate

It was all smiles and happiness frowns and dissatisfactory glances at the Home Depot Center Arena Stadium Complex yesterday, as David Beckham played his first LA Galaxy home game since escaping to Italy six months ago.

Playing against a rather familiar AC Milan team, the England star received some rough treatment from the 27,000 sellout crowd, many of whom had prepared harshly-worded banners.

After reading vitriolic messages such as “Go home fraud”, “Previous instances in which we professed to like you were fraudulent” and “How dare you bring international reverence and substantial revenues to a league that absolutely no one cared about”, Beckham tried to make amends with a particularly hostile Galaxy fan:

At halftime, Beckham walked toward the L.A. Riot Squad section and motioned to a fan to come closer. A man jumped down from the seats and was subdued by security before being taken away.

“One of the guys was saying things that wasn’t very nice. It was stepping over the line,” Beckham said. “I said, `You need to calm down and come shake my hand,’ and he jumped over.”

As you can see from these highlights that look like they were shot on a Nokia phone from 2003, the game finished 2-2 and Beckham was instrumental in setting up both the MLS side’s goals…

Spoiler bonus: Manchester Utd played a Malaysia XI on Saturday, in which Fit and Healthy Charismatic striker Michael Owen equalled ten per cent of his goalscoring output of last season. Check out highlights after the jump…

Americans show their (lack of) appreciation for want-away star

New York Red Bulls 1/ LA Galaxy 3
When David Beckham first played at New York’s Giants Stadium in 2007, an impressive 66,237 soccerball lovers turned up to see what the fuss was all about. Two years on, and just 23,238 turned up at the huge arena to welcome the England star on his return to the MLS.

As expected, large portions of the dwindled home crowd booed the returning star (well, either that or they were saying “BOOOOECKHAM!” in some sort of bizarre New Jersey accent), and it is quite audible in the video above during his 70th minute substitution.

Aside from a couple of good long range goals and some piss poor defending MLS-style defending, our favourite part of this video is the commentator’s reaction to Landon Donovan’s strike - skip to [1.53] to hear a completely non ironic “EEAAAYYEEEEEESSSS!”

[Video: 101GG]