The Spoiler

Ronaldo’s LA future, Beckham’s kissable feet and Juande Ramos’ pessimism


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C-Ron is coerced into saying he could one day maybe think about considering the possibility of joining LA Galaxy
[Pies]

Posh Spice has been interpreting Victorian art
[WithLeather]

Why Felipe Massa will win the German Grand Prix
[chickendinner]

Justin Timberlake kisses David Beckham’s feet
[This Is Extra Time]

Video: A jet ski in a hot tub? Yeah, sure, why not
[Grid Crasher]

“Forget challenging the Big Four - let’s look to the future” says Tottenham boss
[Caught Offside]

Friday randomness: You got da wrong numbah!
[Break]

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Posted: July 18th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Ronaldo slums it, Beckham meets massive woman


For those who missed the ESPY Awards…

ronaldo-crutches.jpg

Ask a modern footballer a simple question like “tea or coffee?”, and their reply is always the same: “just get me the most expensive one.” Nine times out of ten, that’ll be the coffee. Yet, by the looks of Cristiano Ronaldo at yesterday’s ESPY Awards in California, when it comes to crutches, you can just give him the nearest set. No diamonds encrusting the handles, no platinum tip - the guy didn’t even bother emblazoning his own name down the side! Begging the question: what the hell has happened to Ronaldo? Has he completely given up on life?

Elsewhere at the awards, Beckham could be found laughing hysterically at a tall lady (after the jump). Look at her, she’s huge! What is she? A basketball player or something?…. oh, apparently she is a basketball player. Called Candace Parker.

It’s less funny now.

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Posted: July 17th, 2008 by Josh Burt

Rebecca Loos is still banging on about David Beckham


Pig lovin’ fame whore continues to profit from alleged tryst

The Beckhams never gave Rebecca Loos the dignity of denying the supposed relations she shared with a certain LA Galaxy star, so she has managed to stretch her 15 minutes of fame to just over four years and counting.

Here’s the world’s favourite pig-botherer giving an interview to Croatian TV show Red Carpet, in which she talks about the affair, her life since and various other things that absolutely no one should care about.

Spoiler bonus: If the drone of Rebecca’s voice didn’t make you want to pull your own ears off, then enjoy her attempt at a pop career here.

[Kickette]

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Posted: July 8th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

David Beckham demonstrates the correct way to be subtle in Los Angeles


“Look at me!” screams Mr. B’s ridiculous ride

Beckham’s Rolls Royce

David Beckham is a man whose celebrity attracts an incredible amount of attention whenever he hits the streets, and some days he needs to slip around Los Angeles anonymously, so he may run errands and shield his children from the glare of the world’s media. Yesterday was not one of those days, as the LA Galaxy star took his brand new $407,000 Rolls Royce Drophead Coupe for a spin around Beverly Hills. A Roller is a classic choice for a distinguished gentleman, but no human being in the world could possibly look good in this bastardised Pimp My Ride version. His new toy only gets eleven miles to the gallon, meaning he’ll probably have to fill up by the time he reaches the end of his driveway.

See more pics of Lord Beckington squiring his younglings about town here.

[WithLeather via Celebslam]

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Posted: June 27th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Gazza to make glorious return to football management!


Today’s transfer rumours, some more ridiculous than others

Gazza

Despite possessing a questionable state of mental health, a low quality tabloid has linked the man who drunkenly gave me a tenner on my tenth birthday (true story) with a managerial job in the Philippines. Frankly, there’s a better chance of Jermain Defoe declaring a vow of abstinence, but the rest of today’s rumours have a little more substance…

Paul Gascoigne to the Phillippines

The seldom-reliable Daily Star claim that The Phillippines want to ‘rescue’ Gazza by making him the manager of their national team. There must be logic in that idea somewhere but we’re not going to bother guessing what it is.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Ludicrous idea if true

David Bentley to Everton
Bentley’s bold transfer request might not have panned out as he intended it to. It’s not Liverpool and Chelsea throwing pound notes at him to seduce him, it’s Aston Villa and Everton.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: We still expect Chelsea to make a move

Ronaldinho to LA Galaxy
Forget about Barcelona, forget about Chelsea, hell, even forget about Manchester City. Despite only being 28, Ronaldinho

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Posted: June 18th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Is Beckham’s brain shrinking?


He used to be fine with bottles… now this

beckham-water-spoiler.jpg

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Posted: June 2nd, 2008 by Josh Burt

Beckham scores absurd goal


A lesson in how to kick 

For all the doubters out there, you were right. The American “soccer” leagues are silly - not the robust, sensual, glitzy, angry matches everyone was expecting. Dynasty had given everyone the wrong impression of Americans, as it turns out. Below, a bored David Beckham hoofs a goal from his own half just to make a point.

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Posted: May 27th, 2008 by Josh Burt

Sharapova’s photoshoot, Hamilton’s millions and Gullit’s bad leadership


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Game: See how long you can tolerate listening to ‘Become a WAG’ by Stacie and Stevie Smith. I managed 1.39
[MySpace]

Lewis Hamilton to be richer than David Beckham
[Grid Crasher]

Maria Sharapova agrees to a photoshoot
[SportsByBrooks]

Boston Red Sox fan loses lawsuit for hurting the hand of the chap who punched him
[FanIQ]

Have Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo split?
[Machochip]

La Galaxy’s leader Ruud Gullit says the team is suffering from a ‘lack of leadership’. Right…
[TheOffsideRules]

Totally random: Three leaked tracks from the new Oasis album
[BunnyWithFangs]

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Posted: May 14th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Learn more about Jose Bosingwa, F1 WAGs and Ronaldo’s pregnant lady!


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(Transvestite lovin’) Ronaldo is having a baby with his girlfriend
[Machochip]

Who the hell is Jose Bosingwa? Good question
[Pies]

Jenson Button’s ex-WAG Florence Brudenell-Bruce is almost certainly very posh
[Grid Crasher]

Ten things The Offside learnt during the Premiership season
[The Offside]

Video: A dog getting run over on the track at the Turkish Grand Prix. Are you sick enough to click?
[Grid Crasher]

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes go to see Beckham at work
[WithLeather]

Video: Zoo’s top ten crazy commentators
[Zoo Today]

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Posted: May 13th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

David Beckham scores, Kaka is Keller’s hero and the mystery of The Stig


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Video: Blimey, David Beckham scored for LA Galaxy. And it was a pretty good goal, too
[Machochip]

Is Fernando Alonso The Stig?
[Grid Crasher]

Kaká is Kasey Keller’s hero
[Time Magazine]

Video: A funny advert for glasses
[The Beautiful Game]

Smelly child wore the same Brett Favre jersey every day since Christmas 2003
[Deadspin]

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Posted: May 7th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey