AC Milan defender uses the sexy to get Brazilian’s attention…

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Organs for sale

Fancy becoming a poor man’s Pini Zahavi? Well according to today’s Marca, the Spanish, in keeping with their reputation for economic endeavour and initiative, have devised a new method of player ownership, exactly what football needs right now.

Norwegian striker Daniel Førlandsås seems set to be the guinea pig for this experiment. Myfootballplayer, based in Santander, have snapped up the youngster, and are offering football supporters shares in the player, ahead of trials with la liga clubs. If he goes on to make it big, investors will share some of the transfer booty, as well as future signing-on fees.

The player himself said:

“I’m very proud that the fans can be made part of my rights and want to put their trust in me. I’ll take that as a responsibility and I have come to Spain to work hard and become an elite footballer.”

5% of the player should cost around €1000. So what are you waiting for? Get your trousers off and get involved!!
Beckham’s left foot? Ben Fosters hands? Joey Barton’s brain? Which is the most worthless bit of a footballer? Let us know below…

José María del Nido is high on something confidence

Since Sevilla’s surprise defeat of a Ronaldo-less Real Madrid at the weekend, many have suggested that the traditional Spanish two-horse title race will have an extra runner this year. Among those backing Los palanganas as genuine contenders is club presdient José María del Nido, who believes the squad is superior to that of the current champions. Marca reports:

The Sevilla president said “Barcelona are a great team,” although he added, he was not sure if the club “has the same quality of squad” that is currently at Sevilla.

Granted, the likes of Luis Fabiano and Didier Zokora are working wonders in Seville right now, but we think it a bit of a stretch to consider their squad stronger than Barcelona’s. Equally, we can’t see Manolo Jiménez’s side breaking the dominance of La Liga’s big boys this season. Would anyone (whose name isn’t José María del Nido) care to disagree? Let us know below…

Real lose one game without C-Ron, go into complete meltdown

If there’s one thing the Spanish football press love more than those crazy upside down question marks, then it’s pouncing on an opportunity to shed doubt over the internal goings on Real Madrid. Today, there are plenty of stories to suggest that all is not well at the Bernabeu.

Up until last weekend, Los Blancos had enjoyed a 100 per cent record in La Liga, but this was brought to an abrupt end by Seville. AS tell us how Cristiano Ronaldo “suffered” while watching the game on TV, and Marca have taken the Portuguese star’s absence as an opportunity to run a hasty poll. According to their statistics, a whopping 58 per cent of Madridistas believe they have “Ronaldodependencia”, or rather an over-dependence on the Portuguese Man-o’-sex. A slightly rash conclusion, considering the season is six games old and cursed Ronny has missed only one of them.

Meanwhile, Sport has revealed (unsubstantiated) details of a post-Seville handbags session between Karim Benzema and Manuel Pellegrini. Apparently, the notoriously outspoken Frenchman has already grown tired of being replaced in big games, and has expressed his disapproval of sharing attacking duties with 412-year-old legend Raul, as

Barcelona stars get lost in the moment in Malaga

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La Liga side enlists the services of a bear. An actual bear.

There’s an old saying among Spanish football teams: if you want to defeat Valencia, hire a circus bear to be your mascot.

Real Valladolid took this old adage very literally during a training session last Friday, but unfortunately things didn’t quite work out for the Castilian side, who lost 4-2 to Los Che on Sunday.

Hang on, who’s that little guy with the scar?

Bayern Munich general manager Uli Hoeneß has today told Bild that he would sell Franck Ribery to Real Madrid only if an offer of €100m was made.

We’re not ones to start conspiracy theories, but it is possible that the Germans have already done a deal with the La Liga side, replacing him with a tiny replica in the hope that no one would notice?

Tricky winger is “anxious and under pressure”, say Spanish press

The new La Liga season hasn’t even started yet, but the Spanish press are already trying to knock Cristiano Ronaldo from his lofty pedestal.

Marca have today run the headline ‘Cristiano cannot find his place’. They claim he is suffering from ‘Zidane syndrome’, as he is struggling to fit in with his new team. They assert that The Portuguese is suffering from anxiety and pressure, and that his colleagues believe he is crestfallen.

Despite having no evidence to back it up, the daily sport paper also says that Ronaldo has admitted to his ‘close circle’ that he has not yet assimilated into Manuel Pellegrini’s side, and that he would like to ‘be closer to the area’.

This all sounds suspiciously like a fabrication for a slow news day, but it is probably fair to say that C-Ron has failed to shine in any of Madrid’s gazillion pre-season friendlies.