Also appearing on a computer near you…

Boudewijn Zenden perfects the ‘disappear into a box’ goal celebration
[Off The Post]

Elano left Robinho a secret message on his Lamborghini
[Daily Mail]

Nicky Butt thinks Newcastle are going backwards
[Sky Sports]

Is this Manchester City’s new home shirt for 09/10?
[EPL Talk]

WAG Nicola McLean and her giant chest enjoy some exercise
[On205th]

Hull assistant manager Brian Horton is making an official complaint about Cesc Fabregas
[BBC]

Sunderland have been ‘alerted’ to Diego Forlan’s imminent availability
[Tribal Football]

Manchester City stars fight to be king of the car park

With fame, millions of pounds and unlimited access to Movida’s least scrupulous ladies, one may assume that footballers live untroubled lives. Stephen Ireland and Robinho, however, have shown us that the Premier League’s pampered stars suffer the same feelings of want and inadequacy as the folks in the stands.

When Robinho decided to stop taking the bus, he picked up a shiny white Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4. When the Brazilian rolled into the club’s Carrington training ground in his £170,000 car p0rn wet dream, Stephen Ireland turned green with jealousy, and immediately went out and bought a black version of the same car.

Presumably, it’s only a matter of time before Ireland puts some pink wheels on his Italian supercar.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Prior to Joey Barton’s weekend badge kiss, we told Sky News the Newcastle star’s role model status wouldn’t last long

Lamborghini donates a high-tech Gallardo to the Italian police
[Grid Crasher]

The WAGs attend a fashion show
[Kickette]

LA Galaxy star is keen on a Premier League move (and no, it’s not that LA Galaxy star)
[Sky Sports]

Andy Murray is a winning machine
[Polite Applause]

Nuns obviously aren’t affected by the global crunch, as this lot have just invested in a Croatian football team
[The Beautiful Game]

Cristiano Ronaldo wins an award (and it’s not an Oscar for that fake injury at the weekend)
[Football 365]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

The Offside discover a red card that almost certainly should be overturned (1.45 in the video)

NFL star drives the ugliest Lamborghini of all time
[Grid Crasher]

Magpies’ problems solved by cloning expert
[The Onion Bag]

Soccer AM implements a continental presenting structure to halt its fall down ratings table
[The Gaffer]

A good bet: Tottenham 3/1 to finish in the bottom half
[chickendinner Bet Blog]

Fergie insists the goals will come
[Football365]

Vote: Who needs Nick Faldo?
[Polite Applause]

The folks who brought us Germany’s nakedest Olympians now bring us Beijing’s sexiest Paralympians (NSFW)
[Bild]

Robbie Savage keen to prove he isn’t a blonde bimbo

Obviously discontented with driving his fleet of luxury cars around all day long, Derby midfielder Robbie Savage will be heading off to university. He will be attending a two year course at the Stafford University, tackling one of the most challenging courses available - media studies:

“Having been on the receiving end of the media all my career I’m going to start learning the tricks of the trade.”

Savage was in great danger of developing some sort of likeable quality after declaring this studious intention, but he proceeded to remind us all why he’s actually quite irritating:

“I’ll be careful on the campus though and not park the old Lamborghini outside the students’ union.”