The Spoiler

Oh Boy! Shevchenko messes up again


Chelsea stars get their leather on in da club

Leather boys

For those that didn’t realise, last night the theme was “Small Leather Jacket” down at Funky Buddha - by far the most sensual of London’s sexy wine bars.

Of course, Lamps was there with pals Ballack and Carvalho, all guffawing and loving their body-tight jackets. Even cricket’s Kevin Pietersen stopped off to let girls stroke his leather jacket and offer to buy him Martinis. But, as is usual with any Chelsea event, one man decided to join in and just made an almighty hash of things - can you guess who?

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Posted: April 9th, 2008 by Josh Burt

Rough night for Lamps, rough night for his WAG


Elen Rives looks just gorgeous… in a bad way

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Christ, what a couple of days for Princess Frank. First he has a rubbish time in Turkey, where he was spotted flouncing around the Chelsea dug-out being calmed down by a tiny little gentleman called Shaun Wright-Something.

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Posted: April 3rd, 2008 by Josh Burt

Vote: Who should be England’s captain?


Does the armband belong back with Terry, or should it grace another bicep?

England Captain

Stevie G was handed the captaincy in Capello’s first match in charge, but should he be in command at the France game next week, and indeed in the run up to 2010? Other contenders include John Terry (who is as much of a bully as Capello, but prone to injury, unnecessary aggression and illegal parking), Rio Ferdinand (who’ll probably be too busy and ‘merking’ people), David Bentley (a young player who is likely to feature prominently in the future), Micah Richards (whose favourite film is Home Alone) or Frank Lampard (whose favourite film is a tie between Dirty Dancing and The Notebook).

What are your thoughts? Vote now!

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Posted: March 20th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Frank Lampard wants to be highest paid player in the world


New contract will buy Princess Frank a lot of pretty gowns

Frank Lmapard contract

According to today’s Daily Express, Frank Lampard wants a £30m four-year deal to stay at Chelsea after his current contract expires. According to my super computer, that’s a cool £144, 230.77 a week, which will put him way above teammates JT (£135k) and Schevchenko (£130k), and also a few quid above Kaka, the current best paid player in the world who takes home £143,438 a week.

But will Chelsea pay out? And how will he manage if they don’t?

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Posted: March 18th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Fabregas steals Indiana Jones role from Beckham!


…And loads of other bizarre pointless stuff in new Pepsi advert

Usually, Pepsi adverts are great spectacles - previously, we’ve enjoyed Beckham in a Wild West shootout, and Roberto Carlos and co losing a game to a bunch of overweight Germans. The latest clip from the cola pushers, however, seems like a big ol’ mishmash of crap designed to get as many high profile names into a minute slot: Thierry Henry runs through the jungle in a dinner suit, Beckham as Indiana Jones mysteriously transforms into Cesc Fabregas, and Princess Frank gets all dolled up in a fetching little kimono. It really accentuates his hips, and black is a very flattering colour for the precious midfielder,

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Posted: March 17th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Tal Ben Haim ignores Lampard’s fashion bible and fails to shine


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Tal Ben Haim might have been the most stylish guy in the dressing room back in his Bolton days, but bear in mind that he was up against Diouf’s eclectic hip-hop outfits, and an old woman in a flowery dress feverishly scrubbing her front step.

Line him up against style icons like Lamps and JT, and the guy looks like something a yachtsman just dragged in on his deck shoe (pictured).

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Posted: March 14th, 2008 by Josh Burt

The most expensive team EVER - yours for £1,351,180/week!


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It seems that in the world of professional football, right backs and left backs are like the hospital porters compared to the glitzy surgeons nodding them in up front. Not one of the tireless wing-backs features in the Top Fifty earners - not even Mrs Gary Neville, who you would think demands money for breakfast.

Hence, the highest earning XI finds itself having to go with a 3-4-3 formation, which in modern footballing terms, is ridiculous. Still, here they are in all their wealthy glory:

Goalkeeper: Iker Casillas (£114,750/week)

Defenders: Rio Ferdinand (£96,581), John Terry (£130,050), Sol Campbell (£105,188)

Midfield: Cristiano Ronaldo (£122,400), Frank Lampard (£130,050), Steven Gerrard (£122,400), Michael Ballack (£124,313)

Forwards: Kaka (143,438), Ronaldinho (£135,788), Fernando Torres (£126,225)

Think your rabble could beat them?

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Posted: March 13th, 2008 by Josh Burt

Football’s 50 highest earners - well done, Darren Bent!


Ready to feel jealous fifty times over?

Fans of great lists: get your reading slippers on. A terrifyingly solemn Portuguese website called futebolfinance.com has compiled a list of the fifty highest earning European footballers. It being Portugal, the sums are in euros (and it being Portugal no one playing for a Portuguese club side is on the list), but with one euro worth about 76p, by subtracting a quarter of the sum, the all-important pound value will be revealed.

Once you’ve managed to control the powerful waves of envy and indignation crashing together inside your head, the list makes for some interesting reading. Who’d have thought Darren Bent was top twenty? How much higher would he have been if he’d gone to West Ham instead? And since when was a Harry Kewell worth more than a Joe Cole?

1. Ricardo Kaka €9.000.000

2. Ronaldinho Gaucho €8.520.000

3. Frank Lampard €8.160.000

4. John Terry €8.160.000

5. Fernando Torres €7.920.000

6. Andriy Shevchenko €7.800.000

7. Michael Ballack €7.800.000

8. Cristiano Ronaldo €7.680.000

9. Thierry Henry €7.680.000

10. Steven Gerrard €7.680.000

more after the jump…

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Posted: February 28th, 2008 by Ed Needham