Striker fails to trim down during summer of excess

It’s obviously a slow news day, as the two big stories in the papers are Rio Ferdinand’s Stamford Bridge steward kicking incident (which happened three months ago) and Wayne Rooney’s expanding waistline. The Sun claim the Manchester Utd striker’s summer of laying stagnant in a pool, emerging only to drink and eat fast food, has had a serious effect on his physique. He looked a bit portly in a friendly against Aberdeen this weekend, but wasn’t he always a little more rotund than is desirable for a professional footballer?

If you want to see a striker who has really been piling it on, check out this guy:

Ronaldo, whose contract with AC Milan ended two weeks ago, is pictured testing the tensile strength of a yacht in Ibiza. It looks like he and pregnant WAG Bia Anthony are really enjoying the local cuisine…

Thank God he didn’t get one saying ‘Performance & Cocktails’

Last month, we told you how Coleen organised a surprise appearance by the Stereophonics for the Rooney wedding reception, as they are Wayne’s favourite band. During their Vegas honeymoon, it appears that Wayne got out of the pool just long enough to have a tattoo etched onto his arm paying tribute to the Welsh rockers:

The unsightly forearm inking says ‘Just Enough Education to Perform,’ the name of the third ‘Phonics long player. The album, whose hits include the anti-media anthem ‘Mr Writer‘ and ‘Vegas Two Times‘, was titled in reference to a term applied to soldiers who are barely capable dressing themselves, let alone firing a weapon. Having left school without a single GCSE, Wayne obviously felt this was a fitting message to have imprinted on his skin for the rest of his life.

Spoiler bonus: JEEP is said to be Wayne’s favourite Stereophonics albums, but it is one of their worst. Here’s a track from their brilliant debut Word Gets Around…

Wayne finally leaves the swimming pool, but doesn’t venture far

Up until yesterday, only the promise of cheap fast food had been enough to lure Wayne and Coleen Rooney away from the steps of The Wynn hotel’s swimming pool. Now, however, the Manchester Utd striker has branched out to see what the rest of Las Vegas has to offer, by moving a few feet inside the building to the Wynn’s nightclub Blush.

He’s pictured above sharing a (carbohydrate-filled and alcoholic) beverage with heavily tattooed basketball star LeBron James. Whether Coleen was still shrivelling away in the pool at this point is unknown.

Will Wayne and Coleen ever stray more than twenty yards from their hotel? Will this honeymoon go down as one of the most boring in history? The case continues…

[Fan Nation]

Cigarettes and fast food help Wayne stay fit in his summer break

The Wynn Casino is one of the best in Las Vegas, boasting no less than fifteen award winning restaurants. Guests, for example, may enjoy the Michelin-starred delights of celebrity chef Alessandro Stratta in Alex, or the equally Michelin-starred delicacies avaliable in Chinese eatery Wing Lei.

If your surname is Rooney, however, you’ll probably prefer to nip over the road to the Fashion Show Mall, where the culinary highlights include KFC, Subway and Wendy’s. Stay classy, Wayne.

(Also, congratulations are in order for Coleen and Wayne for staying in Las Vegas for so long. Anything longer than a couple of days would drive most people insane.)

See the picture of Wayne and Coleen tucking into a sumptuous Wendy’s meal right here

Manchester Utd striker’s secret passion for cancer sticks revealed

Despite being an professional sportsman who relies on his fitness to make a living, Wayne Rooney found the time to spark up a coffin nail while staying at the Wynn Casino in the city of sin this week. According to The Sun, the Manchester United striker also joined the pro-footballer smoke club - whose members include Dimitar Berbatov, David James and Zinedine Zidane - during his stag trip to Ibiza.

The biggest concern about this situation isn’t the effect the filthy habit will have on Mr Rooney’s career, but rather his flagrant abuse of smoking etiquette. Honestly, who smokes in a swimming pool? Does he smoke in the shower too? He ought to be thoroughly ashamed of himself.

Calzaghe/ Hopkins, Sunday, 4am, get Setanta here

After a week of heavy promotion, humble Joe Calzaghe is still coming to terms with seeing his face plastered across slot machines, blackjack tables and room keys in the City of Sin. Provided that he isn’t over-awed by the bright lights, huge buffets and gentleman’s clubs that Las Vegas provides in such large helpings, the bods at chickendinner believe Calzaghe will be victorious in the fifth round. How did they come to this assertion? Check out their rounds betting guide to find out.

Super special Spoiler reader offer: The big fight is only available on Setanta. Subscribe for just £5 a month for the first three months if you sign up before Friday night - simply click here and quote code 1904.

[Picture: Machochip]

Without this WAG, there would be no big fight this weekend

After a thoroughly messy divorce in 2005, Joe Calzaghe very nearly gave up boxing: “If I’m made to pay her 50 per cent of all my future purses then what’s the point of boxing? The taxman already takes the other 50 per cent!” Throughout the separation debacle, however, he was given the strength to carry on by actress and model Jo-Emma Lavin. The twenty-seven-year-old Welsh beauty, who is lucky enough to have two Christian names, attends every fight and is the main reason he gets in the squared circle today:

“Jo-Emma really gave me the added belief to keep going. She just kept telling me I could do it.”

Sunday April 20, 4am, Setanta Sports 1, bet here

Now that the Western hemisphere’s addiction to the reality show has reached near chronic levels, and a generation of kids who think it perfectly natural to emotionally destroy friends and colleagues is ready to contaminate the workplace, it’s good to see some good old fashioned fist-on-face back on the entertainment menu. Joe Calzaghe and Bernard Hopkins will be taking on the roles of “hammer” and “tongs” in Vegas this weekend, although even boxing is not without its hammy emotional soundtrack. Calzaghe was poor, very poor, and was fighting before he was ten. And Hopkins is bad, prison bad. You feel me? Why do boxing’s mightiest oaks only ever grow from hardship? When are we going to see a world title fight featuring, in the red corner, a young man with three decent A levels who has just spent his gap year teaching orang utans to sing, and in the blue corner, a former young musician of the year who hopes to open a funfair for orphans? Baron Lloyd Webber - this sounds like a job for you.

The Spoiler is not in the habit of tipping, but get on Calzaghe. They are both old, but Hopkins is ancient, and only has one good muscle left - his mouth muscle.

Super special Spoiler reader offer: This fight is only available on Setanta. Subscribe for just £5 a month for the first three months if you sign up before Friday night - simply click here and quote code 1904.

The statistics:

* Joe Calzaghe has battled Americans on fifteen occasions, winning ten by TKO, two by KO and three by Unanimous Decision.

*His three unanimous decision victories