Surely this has got to be a poorly-timed April Fools’ prank

Newcastle are about to appoint Alan Shearer as manager until the end of the season, according to Sky Sports.

Doubts have been cast over whether Joe Kinnear is fit to fulfil all his managerial duties after undergoing heart surgery but Shearer has always been quick to dismiss speculation about him taking over in the past.

The Spoiler is still sceptical. Perhaps someone moved their clocks forward a few hours too many on Saturday night and got the timing of their wind-up wrong. Surely even Mike Ashley wouldn’t make such a risky and illogical decision and heighten Newcastle’s reputation as a laughing stock so close to April Fools’ Day.

UPDATE: BBC Sport’s news ticker now claims that they also understand Shearer is about to be appointed. Is this actually going to happen?

Whose fans are getting the most stick right now?

After clinching the “Most embarrassing way to qualify for a cup final” Award last night, many Tottenham fans were left to despair at their disjointed shambles of a team. The game was so humiliating in fact, that Londoners now feel ashamed about sharing a city with such a motley crew. “Um, yes, I’m from a large conurbation in the South East,” an awkward man was overheard saying at Charing Cross this morning.

Yet Spurs aren’t necessarily the definitive jokers of the league at present. After spectacularly failing in bids for Kaka, David Villa, Jesus Christ and Bobby Charlton, Manchester City have become an internationally renowned laughing stock, with less “pulling power” than a horse with no legs.

So, who are the biggest jokers? Votes and smug comments below, please…