This man may never have seen a hard day’s work…

Tottenham’s Roman Pavlyuchenko netted his first goal for the club last night but not before launching a sensational moan about the long, arduous hours that his horrible new employers have forced upon him. 

“I looked at my watch and saw that the training session had gone on for exactly two hours! Then, there is another half an hour in the gym. Two and a half hours. Can you imagine that?

The weights started to get to me, and I stopped and said to the trainer, ‘I can’t do this’. That’s how they work - I’m shocked. I thought it would be a lot easier.”

How this man became a professional sportsman remains unclear.