Admit it, you’ve always wanted to do this

Take a look at the members of any ten pin bowling league, and you’ll see a healthy mixture of geriatrics and walking cardiac arrests. Leo Messi and Xavi’s take on the lazy man’s sport may not be particularly successful (they don’t seem to get anything approaching a strike) but it’s certainly more athletic than throwing a big rock and drinking six pints of bitter.

Spoiler bonus: The bowling clip came from the handsome devils at Pies, who have also found footage of Deco and Cristiano Ronaldo playing football tennis. Watch it after the break…

Frenchman excluded from promotional duties

Yesterday, Spanish giants Barcelona unveiled their shiny new away kit, using fugly stars including Leo Messi and Carles ‘Captain Caveman’ Puyol.

Superstar players Deco, Eto’o and Ronaldinho were all absent from the launch, as they are fully expected to be plying their trade elsewhere in 2008/09. A semi-surprising absentee, however, was a certain Mr Thierry Henry.

So, if the Frenchman won’t be knocking about in Catalonia next season, where will he be? Well, yesterday he played in a charity match in Americaland, which also included Steve McManaman, Robbie Fowler and New York Red Bulls captain Claudio Reyna. Couple this with the fact that in 2007 he told the New York Times he would like to end his career in the Big Apple, and it looks like the striker could be following David Beckham across the Atlantic to play some Major League Soccerball pretty soon…

[Marca]

Playboy model who is currently enjoying a ‘cyber-romance’ with fugly Barcelona star

Leo Messi isn’t the most handsome sportsman in the world, but that hasn’t stopped him pursuing Playboy model and popular Argentinean media figure Luciana Salazar. The 27-year-old blonde is currently based in Buenos Aires, so with the exception of one phone call, their relationship has thus far blossomed exclusively online.

Apparently, Leo was planning dedicate a goal to her against Brazil last week with an ‘L for Luciana/loser’ hand salute. Unfortunately, that goal never happened, and Luciana and her ginormous chest remain un-saluted.

Henry gives people of Barcelona a large stool for Christmas

Who doesn’t love a traditional nativity scene? The baby Jesus in his manger, the oxen, the three wise men and…wait! Who’s this amongst the shepherds? Thierry Henry taking a shit? Where in the Bible did that bit happen? Was The Spoiler so overcome with