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Game: See how long you can tolerate listening to ‘Become a WAG’ by Stacie and Stevie Smith. I managed 1.39
[MySpace]

Lewis Hamilton to be richer than David Beckham
[Grid Crasher]

Maria Sharapova agrees to a photoshoot
[SportsByBrooks]

Boston Red Sox fan loses lawsuit for hurting the hand of the chap who punched him
[FanIQ]

Have Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo split?
[Machochip]

La Galaxy’s leader Ruud Gullit says the team is suffering from a ‘lack of leadership’. Right…
[TheOffsideRules]

Totally random: Three leaked tracks from the new Oasis album
[BunnyWithFangs]

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How not to get America excited about Euro 2008 - use Coldplay to promote it
[With Leather]

Lewis Hamilton’s affair with Danii Minogue
[Grid Crasher]

Cheryl Tweedy out and about. Not pictured: moronic husband
[On205th]

Video: A rather high challenge in Die Bundesliga
[The Offside]

How much American athletes are spending putting petrol in their gigantic cars
[FanIQ]

Alex Ferguson hits out at the easy treatment they will receive from Wigan by claiming Bolton have been partying too hard
[Football 365]

F1 fans pray that Sunday’s race will be this exciting

Before Fernando Alonso underperforms in front of his adoring home fans and Lewis Hamilton manages to mess it up somehow in this weekend’s Spanish Grand Prix, consider the 1986 race at Jerez. Ayrton Senna beat Nigel Mansell to the finish line by a mere 0.014 seconds, making it the closest F1 finish ever.

Click here for ten reasons why Lewis Hamilton won’t win on Sunday.

Spanish Grand Prix, Sunday, 1pm, ITV1, bet here

It is very difficult to even think of Formula One at the moment without setting the words “Nazi orgy” pinging around the brain again, but we shall try. This weekend, Lewis Hamilton returns to the site of his own torment, the Barcelona track where a group of Spaniards thought it would be hilarious to black up and pretend to be Hamilton’s “familly” earlier this year. Who knew they even made racist make-up any more? That stuff’s got to be rarer than wig powder and beauty spots - you’ve got to be really serious about your racism to waste the precious blackface on an F1 testing session. And who knows what the combination of a rustic sense of humour and an irresistible desire to attention seek will bring from the spectators this weekend? Surely not a comedy Kamp Kommandant and his pyjama’d slaves. Please god, not that.

More importantly, if you’re looking to venture a few quid on the outcome, chickendinner reckon it’s not going to be Hamilton’s best Sunday. Here’s why…

1. McLaren have won just one of the last seven Spanish Grands Prix - Ferrari have won five.

2. The McLarens have been much slower than the Ferraris in the last two races - Heikki Kovalainen finished 26.789 seconds behind Felipe Massa in Bahrain, that’s their best yet.

3. A British driver

F1 star is better than you in at least two ways

He’s got millions of pounds, a jet set lifestyle and a hairline so straight you could set your watch by it, yet our maker also thought he’d give Lewis Hamilton some keepy-uppy skills. Life isn’t fair.

[Pies]

Typical, our great hope for the Australian Grand Prix zooms in to win, and then the whole day becomes a massive downer, thanks to a load of middle-aged clowns spoiling everyone’s head-rush.

Gene Simmons - he who has reportedly made the world’s most limp and monotonous sex tape - and his grown-up mates are still putting on face paints and doing that horrible tongue thing in front of crowds of (presumably) weeping children - even though they have over a thousand years between them!

The best sports on the telebox this weekend

Over the next few days, lads from good ol’ Blighty will be hawking their sporting wares on both sides of the equator: the rugger team will struggle to defeat the Irish on home soil, the cricket team will struggle to cover up their embarrassing first test in New Zealand, and tiny little Lewis Hamilton will probably struggle to defeat the might of Kimi Räikkönen in Australia (although I tip him to get pole at 5/2). Whether you have faith in our boys or not, show your alliances with a punt using the best odds available.

FRIDAY

Cricket - second test
New Zealand/ England (Sky Sports 1, 9pm)

Formula One
Australian GP Qualifying (ITV1, 2.15am) - chickendinner betting preview here

SATURDAY

Scottish Premier League
Motherwell/ Celtic (Setanta Sports 1, 12.30pm)

Six Nations
Italy/ Scotland (BBC1, 1pm)
England/ Ireland (BBC1, 3pm)
Wales/ France (BBC1, 5pm) - chickendinner betting preview here

But Kiss remember theirs

There’s only one way to look less manly than a group of gents who wear more makeup than Rooney’s favourite grotty old prostitute, and that’s to pose with them while they wear six inch heels.

In a genius bit of marketing that will raise the profile of F1 in the States, Kiss will be performing at the Australian Grand Prix this Sunday (chickendinner betting preview here). Personally, I won’t be watching - not because I can’t be bothered to stay up until ridiculous o’clock, but because Kiss just ain’t the same since Ace Frehley and Peter Criss left maaan. And Gene Simmons’ huge tongue unnerves me.

[Picture: Kiss Online]

Australian Grand Prix, 3.30am, March 16, ITV1, bet here 

The new Formula One season starts this weekend, with the ancient gentlemen of the committee still fretting away about how to make their sport more interesting. Years of “safety first”, technical dickering and comic inequality between teams have made F1 less of an enthralling contest and more of an easter parade. Until suddenly last season, that is, when suddenly something interesting happened. So why, given last year’s drama, have the people in charge allowed the friction generated by the enmity between tax-dodging Lewis Hamilton and big baby Fernando Alonso to vanish? Alonso shouldn’t have been allowed to switch teams and hide at Renault, he should have been handcuffed to Hamilton breakfast, dinner and tea, until their rivalry developed into something even more frenzied than last year. It’s amazing that the assembled boffinry of F1 is capable of building a car that can fly to the moon, yet still hasn’t got the faintest idea of how to engineer the human drama that makes racing compelling. More downward thrust and tax avoidance strategy is not going to do it for the youngsters.

The statistics

* Good news for Kimi Raikkonen - no driver has won the Championship for the first time and then not retained it the following season for over a decade.

‘Hitman’ has weight of nation’s gambling hopes on his shoulders

As if preparing for the biggest fight of your life thousands of miles from home against an undefeated boxer ranked one of the greatest of all time wasn’t enough pressure in itself, Ricky Hatton will be pleased to know that a record number of