Meanwhile, elsewhere on the internet…

Remember the days when pop stars didn’t have to be pretty to be great with Joe Cocker…

Rangers fan receives rubbish birthday prez

[The Offside]

The next Lewis Hamilton lands whopping sponsorship deal

[Grid Crasher]

How best to cook a set of testicles

[Machochip]

Lindsay Lohan’s out-of-this-world unmentionables spotted

[Egotastic]

Nerdy computer kid goes ballistic

[Today’s BIG Thing]

The worst sports kit of all time

[Polite Applause]

Who will win the Golden Boot?

[Chickendinner]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Nike have finally designed a shoe specifically for Manchester City fans
[Machochip]

Video: Watch out! The Olympics are a trap!
[WithLeather]

Mercedes have decided to shift their prestigious reputation by making Wayne Rooney an ambassador
[The Daily Fascist Mail]

Are Jenson Button and Destiny’s Child Kelly Rowland getting’ it on?
[Grid Crasher]

Nine commentary clichés we could do without
[EPL Talk]

Arsene Wenger wants everybody to stop booing Emmanuel Adebayor
[Bild]

Is Michael Phelps the man to turn Lindsay Lohan away from her lesbian phase?
[Deadspin]

Berbs is worried that Fergie is in love with someone else
[Football 365]