Three ways to make Kinnear less grumpy after a game

According to a poll held on The Spoiler yesterday, the overwhelming majority of football fans believe there is a problem with the standard of Premier League refereeing that must be addressed post haste. The likes of Joe Kinnear, Mark Hughes, and David Moyes are all outspoken on the subject, but none are keen to offer or endorse a positive, practical solution to the issue. With this in mind, The Spoiler has compiled a three point plan to improve the state of officiating in the top flight…

1. Introduce a video referee

It’s a sad fact that the game moves far too fast for an infallible human to keep up with - a referee can’t be everywhere at once, and a linesman cannot expected to be perfectly accurate when he must be looking at two places at once (technically a physical impossibility). The video ref system has been touted for years, and as Spoiler reader Sack the Juggler eloquently says, it has been successfully implemented in rugby, so why not in the beautiful game? It’s time to embrace technology and make proper use of the cameras that cover every angle of every stadium anyway.

2. Pay the referees more money

At present, Premier League referees receive a retainer of £33,000 and a further £1,000 for each match they officiate. This usually equates to about £60,000 per year. While this seems an ample amount for 90 minutes of work on a weekend, surely there is enough money in the game to pay them £100,000, or even £200,000 per year? Some clubs will pay that for one week of services from a player! There is a general

A can of worms has been opened, folks

Photo: PA

Sheffield United’s successful tribunal ruling against West Ham could cost the Hammers £30m in compensation, and it also sets a dangerous precedent for results on the pitch being overruled by men in suits. The Spoiler decided to examine other potential footballing matters that could end up being settled by lawyers:

1) Watford miss out on the play-offs by a point

The Football League have decided there will be no replay of Saturday’s Watford/Reading match, despite the fact that the Royal’s opener was clearly not a goal. If Watford end up finishing just outside the play-off places, or if Reading wind up just inside them - does that give Watford the right to sue the Football League, the referee and the linesman?

2) Germany claim the 1966 World Cup

Sheffield United were able to win their case relying predominantly on ‘what ifs’, rather than solid facts. Imagine how successful a Germany appeal could be when they have digitally-enhanced evidence that Geoff Hurst’s second goal didn’t cross the line - another example of West Ham cheating!

3) England gain passage to the 1986 World Cup semi-finals

Maybe England could compensate for losing that World Cup by sueing Argentina for Diego Maradona’s

Worst decision ever? Yes, worst decision ever

Conventionally, goals are awarded when the ball crosses the line and ends in the net bit. Assistant referee Nigel Bannister, however, took an unusual approach this weekend when he awarded Reading a goal for an attempt that went at least two yards wide.

As you can see above, referee Stuart Attwell chose not to trust his own eyes and acquiesced to the linesman’s belief that John Eustace’s clearance ended up in the net. The Watford midfielder ended up with his first career own goal, and Reading went on to earn a 2-2 draw at an angry Vicarage Road.

While the linesman’s decision was very poor, Reading’s unsporting decision to carry on without giving Watford an opportunity to equalise is surely a much bigger mistake.

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