Hope everyone enjoyed the summer - those were two pretty hot days. But don’t wrap up and sit patiently for Christmas just yet, there’s still some movement on the transfer market. Here’s the latest…
Steven Gerrard to Inter Milan
If Crouch is worth £15 million, Benitez probably has Gerrard at around £9 zillion. Inter might need to go back with their £25 million and come back with something a little more realistic, huh Rafa?
Aliaksandr Hleb to Barcelona
Spagetti-legged Hleb is so keen to get away from Arsenal that he’s apparently ready to fork out millions to get out of his contract. All the talk has been of Inter, until today when someone from Barcelona coughed and everyone got suspicious. Spill the beans, Hleb.
Sweet Baby Joseph, it is HOT outside. It’s all ice lollies, hand held electronic fans and bikinis in this office. But don’t be fooled, we’re not just keeping ourselves cool, there’s also work to be done. Today’s transfers read like this:
Peter Crouch to Portsmouth
So long are Crouch’s spindly spiders legs that he’s somehow managed to score thirteen goals this season - all from his seat in the dugout. Just imagine how he’d get on if he was actually playing. Word is, Portsmouth have been doing exactly that.
Michael Kightley to West Ham
Despite the fact that Alan Curbishley headed straight into hiding after getting humiliated by Man United, the gossips at the Mirror have been heard going on and on about how he wants the Wolves winger, and by Jimmy he’s going to get him.
Look at the more successful managers in the league at the moment (Ferguson, Wenger, even O’Neill) and they appear to have one thing in common - they build their teams, slowly introducing players, always maintaining a good balance of old and new.
At United, wise old heads like Scholes and Giggs know that they won’t play every game, but their importance to the team is never underestimated. Other newer faces like Nani, Hargreaves and Anderson are happy to wait their turn. Likewise, Wenger manages to keep his bench pretty happy, and it’s rare that you’ll see a thunderous face fidgeting in the dugout.
The consequences of Riise’s horrendous own goal on Tuesday have rippled through Liverpool, to the point where gutsy young graffiti artists who should be impersonating Banksy with their street art have taken to scrawling angry slogans on the walls of Liverpool’s Melwood training ground instead.
Girls, turn away now. Abbey has made a serious headband faux pas here, one that you could never get away with. Yes, she is brave with her fashion, often “fierce” if sometimes a bit “too commercial” (thanks America’s Next Top Model), but even the greatest models of them all (Crawford, Banks, Fox, Dawn Mckenzie) wouldn’t be able to pull this one off. Crouch, have a word. Abbey, think about your wardrobe. Make it work for you.
Being people who breakfast doesn’t hinder The Spoiler’s progress, in fact, quite the opposite, much can be learnt from a simple trip to a local breakfasterie. Here’s what the people are saying in between sausage and eggs and slurps of finest splosh:
Emmanuel Adebayor to AC Milan or Juventus
Despite lurching around the pitch, accidentally knocking in twenty-one goals as he goes, the animated chat is that the lanky one might be more suited to the slower pace of Italian footie. Arsenal are after something a little more whippet-like for the box, apparently.
Tal Ben Haim to Tottenham
Now that he’s wept to the press, HUMILIATING his handsome manager, who would ever want Tal Ben Haim on their books? In a word, Tottenham Hotspur United.
Even technology can’t keep up with Torres’ ungodly scoring rate, as this weekend he plundered his way into the 30s. A clever cyber-genius has, however, located his first twenty-eight Liverpool goals and popped them together in an easy-to-view video clip. Enjoy.
In a shrewd move, Benitez chose to air some of his grievences after the weekend match - “I need to talk to the board as soon as possible and clarify the situation,” he said “I need to resolve questions and I want some answers.” The Liverpool boss probably knows that without the Champions League to play for, he’d already be toast. But this way, should it all go wrong against Chelsea, he can point to the problems seeping down from the top, but should his team repeat their 2005 success, he will look like the man who kept his head while all around lost theirs.
After a good game at the weekend, Peter Crouch is under no illusions as to whether he’ll be folding his tall frame onto the subs bench for the big Champions League clash against Arsenal - “he is more likely to go with Fernando,” he shrugged after the weekend match, presumably totally correctly.
