Rubbish team will strike, but English club could save the day
Fresh from a bizarre centre circle protest last week, relegated Levante are planning to ruin Real Madrid’s championship celebrations on Sunday. Players of the financially-troubled club, who are owed around 18million Euros in wages, are unapologetic about a plan to strike and spoil Real’s big day. Captain Luis Manuel Rubiales said:
“Madrid has fans all over Spain, including in our team, and we are the last ones to want to cause it [sic] trouble.”
Levante has not been training all week and are adamant they will not play the league game, which means Madrid will be awarded all three points. If they find themselves contractually obliged to show up for a friendly tie, however, the players also have a scheme to enrage the Bernabeu faithful: according to some Spanish reports, they will field seven players (the minimum
Well the rain is back, for a moment there we almost forgot where we were. Seconds away from flowery necklaced women and silky hula music playing in the streets, probably. Just thank hecky we’ve still got football gossip and transfers to keep us all sweaty and uncomfortable.
Ronaldinho and Deco in exchange for Kaka
A couple of years ago, had anyone even thought about exchanging Ronaldinho for another player, teams of armed police would have been lining buildings within seconds, shouting through loud hailers to put the drugs down and step away from the vehicle. Sir, we said step AWAY! How times have changed. Now Barcelona can offer Ronaldinho and Deco for Kaka and no one even sniffs their breath for whiskey.
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: The rumour is that Barca are offering the two players and around £16 million. AC are unlikely to bite.
Andriy Shevchenko to Fenerbahce
After wowing English fans with his brilliance, Shevchenko may yet astonish the people of Turkey by taking his travelling football circus to Fenerbahce. Prepare to be dazzled, Turklings!
The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Should AC Milan pass, Shevchenko needs to go somewhere. Not out of the question.
The eagle-eyed news monkeys at Football365 have noticed that Steven Gerrard tends to impart similar sounding words of encouragement on a yearly basis, yet they have thus far failed to help his side bring home the domestic title.
But could his expectation-raising comments spur the Reds to trouble the top of the table this year? Is Rafa’s head shaped a bit like an old fashioned kettle? Do I look good in pastel colours because they bring out my eyes? So many questions, so little time…
“Most of the lads in this squad have won every trophy except the Premier League so that is the aim this year. If not, improve again and do it next year, but we feel a title challenge is around the corner…” Steven Gerrard, December 26, 2005
“I’ve liked the way we’ve done business this summer. I’m not going to start making any unnecessary predictions about what’s going to happen this season and the last thing any of us need to do is
West London club linked to every player under the sun
According to Marca (a daily pro-Madrid sports paper), or specifically a Mr Garcia Caridad director of Radio Marca, Chelsea have offered 50 million Euros (around £40m) for Fernando Torres.
Avram Grant has already shown interest in the Spanish striker, after asking Benayoun to introduce them. The powers that be at Liverpool, however, are reportedly not interested in listening to offers.
This isn’t the first time the striker has been linked with a departure. Last month, we reported on an article in The Times that claimed Liverpool would be obliged to offload Torres and Babel
While Wenger has spent years convincing the world that his eagle eyes can spot potential a mile off, Rafa Benitez sees the Arsenal man’s methods in a totally different light - he said this to liverpoolfc.tv:
“I think we are signing fantastic young players but not spending big, big money. I think that is the massive difference between Arsenal and us. They have spent big money on young players for a long time.
There is no time to rest in football. Ferguson might have been dancing on the tables last night, but he’d have been back at his desk this morning with a muesli bar from a garage to plan how to best inflict pain on others come August.
Today’s transfer rumours read like this:
Dimitar Berbatov to Manchester United
Wow, where did this one come from? Who knew that Berbs wanted to leave? Might it have something to do with his agent demanding that he leave? As things stand United are front-runners, with Ferguson after a mature football mind to spearhead his attack. But there have also been increasingly fervent whispers echoing in from Barcelona insisting that he can go there if he wants to. Sir Alex will have to be at his most charming and flirtatious to bag this puppy. So to speak.
Samuel Eto’o to Inter Milan
More bad news Spurs. Apparently Inter are set to stroll up to the Barca striker and casually ask whether he’d like to join the Italian champions or the eleventh best Premier League side.
It seems that Liverpool don’t limit their homoerotic behaviour to the pitch - they’re even at it during training! Thanks to keen Sporno fan Laura for showing us why Fernando Torres wouldn’t last a week in prison.
Kevin Keegan criticises one of Europe’s most exciting leagues
Clearly, being part of a league whose title and relegation will be decided on the final day is not exciting enough for Kevin Keegan. He bleated the following in this morning’s Sun newspaper:
This league is in great danger of becoming one of the most boring but great leagues in the world. The top four this year will be the same as next year. […] The only games they lose are to each other. Not many sides outside the top four are beating them.
Keegan makes a fair (if unoriginal) point about the dominance of the Big Four, but is he right in saying the Premier League is boring? Or is the chip on his shoulder simply venting the frustration of not being able to break into the top pack? Votes and comments below, please.
Oh look, it’s almost the end of the season, and that’s when everyone starts applauding each other and shouting “good game, good game”, full of the joys of spring. Well, not over here at The Spoiler. Oh no. We’re still livid with some of the Premier League’s so-called “players”. This XI, for example, should be ashamed of themselves.
GK Petr Cech (Chelsea)
Such is the increasing nature of his facial injuries that most people expect Cech to play next season wearing a gimp mask. That aside, he’s spent most of 2007/08 busily sabotaging his reputation as the world’s best goalkeeper by setting up goals for Jonathan Woodgate in the Carling Cup final, and Ryan Babel in the Champions League.
DL John Arne Riise (Liverpool)
There was a time when Riise was synonymous with blistering shots bursting through the net and into someone’s face in the crowd, but this season he’s been more of an own goal specialist, with a stonker against Luton, and a bitch of a bouncer in the Champions League.
DC William Gallas (Arsenal)
Arsenal captains are strong proud men like Tony Adams and Patrick Viera, not whimpering cretins who flump off the pitch in tears or stage sit in protests for no reason whatsoever. A manchild.
DC Kolo Toure (Arsenal)
Toure was doing a fantastic job until he sloped off to Africa in January and lost all of his confidence. He then returned to Arsenal and started gifting people goals willy-nilly.
