Who’s next?

‘The Away Days Gang’ - the infamous group(s) of armed raiders who ‘earn’ their coin targeting north-west based footballers playing away matches - have been caught slipping lately, apparently having forgotten Phil Jagielka hasn’t kicked a ball in six months.

However, their ingenious ruse is still winning fans amongst the robbing community in the south-east. According to Essex police, career crims have been lining up to pilfer from Essex’s finest, with a spate of identical ‘away days’ burglaries breaking out. Hide the Baby Bentleys!

Is it bye bye Bayern for the Frenchman?

The BBC transfer deadline day live text reports that Franck Ribery has been spotted in several London locations.

Is this a fraudulent attempt to spice up a relatively dull transfer deadline day, or a genuine reason to give Chelsea fans a “quarter chub”? We’re siding with the former at the moment, but we’ll bring updates as soon as we can.

Subtle Claire Merry almost slips by unnoticed in silver catsuit

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Last night, the nasty one from Heroes, the funny one from Spaced and that fella who made Lost convened in Leicester Square to celebrate the premiere of the new Star Trek film.

Sci-Fi fans who attended in the hope of catching their first glimpse of an attractive woman got more than they bargained for when Claire Merry walked down the red blue carpet looking like a sexy space cadet.

If this is the kind of outfit Thierry Henry’s ex-wife is buying with her huge divorce payout, we can only approve.

See a few more pictures after the jump…

Stuart Pearce catches his favoruite band

A member of the Spoiler street team attended a gig by Belfast-punk-rockers-who-aren’t-The-Undertones Stiff Little Fingers at the Kentish Town Forum on Friday night, and was delighted to see superfan Stuart Pearce in attendance. Apparently, the humble England coach left the Range Rover at home, choosing to arrive at the venue by train.

Have you seen any footballers out and about? Zola at the Tesco cheese counter, perhaps? Maybe Agbonlahor at the dry cleaners? Share the reflected glory with us here.

Footballer rewarded for kicking football

David Bentley may be enjoying mixed form at White Hart Lane this season, but Spurs and Arsenal fans will testify that the winger knows how to hit a long range effort.

For some reason, Bentley finds himself on the roof of Red Bull’s London headquarters, when his agent says he can’t put a ball in a skip on the other side of Charing Cross Road. The agent has so little faith in his client’s abilities, that he puts his £15,000 watch on him missing. As the headline suggests, DB earns himself a new piece of bling.

(At a time when people are struggling to pay their mortgages, isn’t it great to know that footballers are still waging huge amounts of money on kicking footballs into skips? God bless the Premier League.)

[Anorak]

Patrick Vieira spotted snooping round the capital today

News just in from a friend of The Spoiler in North London:

While driving this morning I saw Patrick Vieira roaming the streets of Hampstead. It was definitely him, I pulled over to get a closer look, called out “Patrick!” and he coyly raised a hand.

Vieira lived in a huge house in Hampstead during his Arsenal days - could the Internazionale midfielder be considering a return to London?

James Collins handcuffed and arrested for no particular reason

If there is a fight outside swanky nightclub Funky Buddha on a weeknight, it’s safe to assume a Premiership star is involved. The Police made this very assumption last night, and put cuffs on West Ham defender James Collins. Unfortunately, it seems the Welshman was simply passing the popular WAG-snaring haunt on his way home from a meal at Nobu with his wife, and was caught up in the commotion. According to the Met Police, a man was “arrested and then subsequently de-arrested in Berkley Square”.

The Mirror says that Collins is now “considering his options”.

Unsettled Russian had no say in £14m move

Casual racist Sergei Rebrov wasn’t the only one who didn’t want Roman Pavlyuchenko to move to London - according to his mummy Lyubov, the man himself never wanted to leave his home nation:

“Roman was sold by the club,” she said. “He didn’t want to go to England or leave Russia. It was 100 per cent Spartak Moscow’s decision to sell him.”

And reports in Russia suggest that CSKA president Yevgeni Giner has now called the 26-year-old to say he is welcome back at his former club should he wish to leave London.

Confident her son will be back on home soil sooner rather than later, Lyubov said: “I know for sure he’s ready to return to Russia anytime.”

The Telegraph claim that Pavlyuchenko was on the verge of signing for another Russian club (most likely Lokomotiv Moscow) when Spurs and their giant chequebook swooped in, and that he has failed to adapt to life in London.

Is this new found home sickness the reason for his ineffectiveness in the North London derby?