Things could get confusing at the Chelsea/ City games next season

Zhirkov also has more than a passing similarity to Manchester Utd’s recently acquired Fit & Healthy striker, non?

Have you ever seen the Blues head honcho and the Seinfeld creator in the same room?

Vampire/ werewolf franchise gets a little bit more German

The Spoiler isn’t a teenage girl or a lonely women who owns more than one cat, so we won’t be seeing the next installment in the Twilight franchise, but it’s good to see that Michael Ballack is branching out into acting.

[click picture to enlarge]

Yup, look. There he is.

If you thought the Transporter franchise was simply an excuse for Jason Statham to take off his shirt and wrestle in oil, then you’d be quite right. However, it is also the vehicle with which Cristiano Ronaldo appears to have launched his film career. (Vehicle? Transporter? Sorry, we’ll get our coats.)

What’s that, Doubting Thomas? You don’t believe the Portuguese man-o’-sex is in Transporter 2? Head to [2.28] in the video below and prepare to have your tiny cynical minds blown…

Ok, so it might not actually be Cristiano, but a very good look-alike sent in by The Spoiler’s number two fan Jack (our number one fan is Stan Collymore).

Spoiler bonus: Ronny isn’t the only Manchester Utd star to have a doppelganger in a film - recognise Archy in RocknRolla?

… unhappy NHS user Lucy Smith!

“NHS is exploiting my life” - claims transsexual

Thanks to Popbitch for the spot

WAG Melanie Slade tells us how to anger Arsenal star

The Daily Mail have published a rather lengthy interview with Theo Walcott’s beau, Melanie Slade. The WAG reveals that the couple met at the Southampton branch of Claire’s Accessories, and that their first date as sixteen year old was a thoroughly romantic screening of Land of the Dead.

She also revealed an excellent method for away fans to irritate the weak-shouldered forward:

We were at a petrol station and when he came out of the shop after paying, his face was like thunder. I said to him, “What happened?” and he said, “They asked me if I was Lewis Hamilton!”

[Spotted at Kickette]

Man does Portuguese star’s reputation no damage whatsoever

Slow down ladies, the man pictured above isn’t Portuguese man-o’-sex Cristiano Ronaldo, but 21-year-old professional impersonator Jaime Wright. He commands a fee of up to £800 per day working for Fake Faces (an agency which also offers the worst John Terry look-alikes known to man), and has been using his powers for evil of late.

The People have published an interview where Wright claims to have tricked his way into the private boudoirs of up to five beautiful women:

“I was in a club in Manchester and these three girls just came up and said ‘You are Ronaldo’. I didn’t say that I was and I didn’t say that I wasn’t. We went back to a hotel and had a great night.

“Some of the girls haven’t realised I am not the real deal until the next morning.

“I just say to them, ‘I’ve got something to tell you’. Luckily they always find it funny.”

Jaime Wright should be applauded not only for being able to pull off this kind of sexy trick, but also for finding five women in the UK who the real Ronaldo hasn’t already slept with. Seriously, that must’ve taken some extensive research.

[The Offside]