West Ham fans miss their first win over Chelsea in six years

The Spoiler can’t stand the monotony of international breaks where nothing ever happens in the week building up to the game and it looks like Chelsea and West Ham feel the same way.

Gianfranco Zola and Steve Clarke took a group of players who aren’t off gallivanting with their national teams - including Luis Boa Morte, Kieron Dyer and Savio - to Chelsea’s Cobham training ground to have a kickaround with the likes of Alex, Florent Malouda and Ricardo Quaresma.

The Hammers were 4-2 victors thanks largely to youngster Junior Stanislas but any sense of achievement in beating the Blues for the first time since 2003 was tempered by the fact Ray Wilkins was managing the opposition.

The players who should have stayed put in the new year

Provided that Manchester City get their chequebook out and kick start the financial merry-go-round,  this January is sure to bring plenty of interesting movement in the transfer market. With this in Mind, The Spoiler decided to build a team of the worst January deals to go down since the window’s 2003 inception…

Ben Alnwick (Sunderland to Spurs, 2007) - £900,000
He didn’t exactly break the bank, but Alnwick has been at Tottenham for almost two years without troubling the first team. Instead, he has been farmed out on loan to Carlise, Leicester and Luton.

Jan Kromkamp (Villareal to Liverpool, 2006) - Swap
Forget finding Fernando Torres a new strike partner; Benitez’s main problem is deciding on his fullbacks: he has signed two per year for the past three years while the likes of John Arne Riise, Steve Finnan and Stephen Warnock have been shown the door. While Liverpool didn’t pay anything for Kromkamp (he was swapped for another crap right-back Josemi), he was useless. Jan made a handful of appearances but Rafa realised his mistake and moved him on just seven months later.

Jean-Alain Boumsong (Rangers to Newcastle, 2005) - £8m
Boumsong only lasted a year in the north-east but it was enough time to gain him the accolade as one half of ‘the Chuckle Brothers Live Show’, along with comedy sidekick Titus Bramble.

Ricardo Rocha (Benfica to Spurs, 2007) - £3.3m
The Portuguese has made 13 starts in the league over nearly two years and has failed

The men who have shouldered the blame this season

On matchday, Premier League football fans need three things to sustain their interest in the beautiful game: an overpriced ticket for a flimsy plastic seat, a weak pint (to be consumed away from the playing surface, Mr Ashley) and a good scapegoat on which to blame the entire team’s shortcomings.

Here’s the top ten players and managers who have been made to bear the brunt of their club’s collective sins in 2008/09 thus far…

Nicklas Bendtner (Arsenal)
The Spoiler’s Arsenal correspondent claims that Bendtner has overtaken Emmanuel Eboue in the Emirates scapegoat stakes, being vilified to such an extent on Saturday that Emmanuel Adebayor received a hero’s reception when he was brought off the bench to offer some firepower.

Jermaine Jenas (Tottenham)
Heurelho Gomes has put in a sturdy challenge in recent weeks but he still has a fair way to go before toppling Jenas, who has been the main subject of clenched fists and growling at White Hart Lane for a few years now.

Florent Malouda (Chelsea)
Apparently being the midfielder who has provided the most assists in the Premier League this season isn’t enough to save you from abuse when you occasionally misplace a pass or have the audacity to have a shot saved.

Luis Boa Morte (West Ham)
Holds the dubious honour of being one of the only players in the world