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Looks like someone isn’t very happy with Carlton Cole…
[101GG]

At Eastlands, laryngitis-ridden Liam Gallagher looks like he’s in the kind of mood that would cause a Spoiler editor to waste £75 on a V Festival ticket
[Pies]

Manchester Utd have answered some important questions
[Republik of Mancunia]

Self defence expert Stevie G now faces a civil suit
[The Guardian]

Lineker WAG Danielle Bux is not unattractive
[The Sun]

Manchester Utd to offer £10m and Michael Carrick for man-of-the-moment Luka Modric
[Caught Offside]

Rafa says Liverpool can improve upon last year’s 5-0 decimation of Villa tonight
[The Telegraph]

Spoiler promotion: Fancy a free punt? Of course you do, silly billy! Check out hundreds of pounds worth of free football bets at
OLBG Sports

A further helping of transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Ricardo Carvalho and Deco to Inter Milan
The biggest transfer news of a very slow day comes from Italy’s Sky Sport 24, who claim that Chelsea do not want Nicolas Burdisso or Maicon in exchange for Jose Mourinho’s good friends Deco and Ricardo Carvalho and are instead holding out for around £12 million for the pair.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Maicon’s agent Antonio Caliendo says that he expects his client to stay put this summer so it would make sense for Chelsea to take as much money as they can and shop elsewhere.

Felipe Melo is staying with Fiorentina
Just a day after being urged by international teammate Gilberto Silva to sign

“Tek a bow, son(s)”

With the end of the 2008/09 campaign only 24hrs away, The Spoiler takes a look back at the season’s finest goals and reveals our picks for the twenty greatest efforts. Part one documents goals 20-11…

#20: Ryan Taylor - Wigan 2-1 Newcastle, 26/12/08

The most inspired transfer activity of the season

As The Spoiler’s end of season festivities get into full swing, today we look at the best signings of the 2008/09 Premier League campaign. Sorry Wisey, Xisco and Coloccini didn’t make the cut…

Jose Bosingwa (Porto to Chelsea, £16.3m)
Whether Jose Bosingwa (or ‘Boswinga’ if you’re Jamie Redknapp) was officially a Big Phil Scolari signing is a point of contention, but considering the four other members of his inspirational clutch of signings have only racked up 22 starts and three goals between them, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. However, what can’t be argued against is how seamlessly the full back has slotted into Chelsea’s defence this season, in a role the Blues have previously struggled to fill.

James Beattie (Sheffield Utd to Stoke, £2.5m)
It was fair to assume Beattie’s Premier League days were numbered after a pretty woeful spell at Everton earned him a move down to the Championship with Sheffield United last season. Yet after answering Stoke’s SOS call in the January transfer window, Beatts has signaled his return to the top flight by averaging nearly a goal every other game and contributing to 13 of the 24 points Stoke have picked up since his arrival. Such season-saving form might just be the best £2.5m Tony Pulis has ever spent.

Marouane Fellaini (Standard Liege to Everton, £15m)
Fellaini’s Premier League success isn’t too surprising considering the fact that 32 foreign scouts were in the crowd to watch him play in Liege’s title-winning league match last season. Still, the lanky afro cultivator was pretty much unknown to fans over here until making his mark as the driving force behind a Liege team that by all rights should’ve beaten Liverpool to Champions League qualification at the start of the season. Clocking in with an impressive nine goals and firmly establishing himself as a midfield battler, that £15m price tag everyone laughed at now looks a bit less ridiculous.

Wilson Palacios (Wigan to Tottenham, £12m)
Harry Redknapp’s transfer market dial

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POW! Right in the kisser!
[101GG]

Alex tries to kill Peter Crouch
[Off The Post]

Why Newcastle could maybe get some kind of result when Manchester Utd visit tonight.
[chickendinner]

Luka Modric denies speculation that he is off to Italy
[FansFC]

West Ham are talking to five prospective new owners
[Daily Mail]

WAG Chanelle Hayes has misplaced her clothes (slightly NSFW)
[CamelTap]

Harry Redknapp runs an alcohol-free club - bad news for Ledley King
[Daily Express]

A: None of them!

Tottenham Hotspur employ several people whose sole purpose is to score goals. They are called ’strikers’, and they were distinctly absent from the Carling Cup penalty shoot-out, an occasion when the skill of scoring goals is extremely useful.

According to talkSPORT’s breakfast show, the reason for Spurs’ unlikely penalty-taker line-up (and subsequent underwhelming performance) was a general reticence to step up to the spot. When Harry Redknapp asked “who wants to take a penalty?” not a single player raised his hand.

Luka Modric is the first player to speak out about his penalty-taking anxiety, which stems from his failure to convert against Turkey during Euro 2008:

“I need to get over the fear. I do not want taking penalties to become a continuous problem for me.”

Messrs bent and Pavlyuchenko, we await your excuses. [Actually Mr Pavlyuchenko, you had been substituted by that point so your excuse is valid - Ed.]

Luka Modric “cannot stand his theatrics”

Tottenham players don’t like to complain, but Luka Modric felt the need to get a burning issue off of his chest when speaking to Croatian publication Sportske Novosti this week. The midfielder thinks the current World Player of the Year needs to spend less time rolling around on the floor, and more time, er, standing up:

“Ronaldo is a fantastic player and I do not have anything against him, but I cannot stand his theatrics.

“In England, it is a man’s game and his continuous complaints and dives have a negative effect. I do not know why he needs to do it all the time.”

Ronaldo paid the price for crying wolf one too many times when he was booked for diving in Sunday’s Carling Cup final, after what appeared to be a legitimate penalty claim.

The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

On the day that Steve Bruce has registered his disgust with Manchester City’s transfer wranglings, it looks like Liverpool’s unwanted striker could be heading back to his old stomping ground…

Robbie Keane to Tottenham
The Independent claim Senor Benitez is mulling over a deal that will see Robbie Keane return to White Hart Lane in exchange for Jermain Jenas or Aaron Lennon plus cash. The deal would mean Liverpool would not have to pay Spurs the remaining £11m of his £20.3m transfer fee.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Stranger things have happened, and Spurs already have a history of luring back their alumni.

David Beckham to return to David Beckham Utd
LA Galaxy manager Bruce Arena is mighty upset that the European press think David Beckham is trying to figure out a way to stay in Milan. He’s also upset that the club’s only other decent player, Landon Donovan, may sign permanently with his loan club Bayern Munich.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: The transfer window slams shut on Monday, so Milan will have to act before then if they wish to keep him. Carlo Ancelotti thinks they should sign him up, but Brand Beckham risks alienating America. Is that a risk Mr B is willing to take?

Michael Owen to Aston Villa
The Mirror are reporting that Aston Villa want