Remeber this guy (on the left)?

Many football neutrals will probably view the weekend’s Merseyside Derby as the equivalent of the pre-movie cartoon, with Chelsea travelling to the Emirates later in the afternoon.

It should be a corker, and the rumblings coming from the finest football restaurants concern the Arsenal defence. Gallas‘ fitness is in the balance, but there’s talk of playing Silvestre at left back should the slightly more irrational of the two Frenchmen pull through in time.

Arsene Wenger certainly seems up for the match, viewing it as something of a coming-of-age moment for his young squad. He said this (courtesy of The Guardian):

“I think there is a period for any team to come out and show its strengths. For my team, this moment has come.”

Elsewhere in the world, it seems that there might finally be some progress on the Luka Modric injury situation, if Harry Redknapp is to be believed.

“Luka’s coming on slowly, gradually getting there, but we are seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.”

And a report in The Mail suggests that Real Madrid’s 33-year-old vice captain, Guti, is on his way to either Man United or Man City in the New Year.

Word has it that he’s so keen to get away from Spain that he’s taken up English lessons - lessons which probably won’t remotely help him navigate his way through a Ferguson hairdryer, unfortunately.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Looks like someone isn’t very happy with Carlton Cole…
[101GG]

At Eastlands, laryngitis-ridden Liam Gallagher looks like he’s in the kind of mood that would cause a Spoiler editor to waste £75 on a V Festival ticket
[Pies]

Manchester Utd have answered some important questions
[Republik of Mancunia]

Self defence expert Stevie G now faces a civil suit
[The Guardian]

Lineker WAG Danielle Bux is not unattractive
[The Sun]

Manchester Utd to offer £10m and Michael Carrick for man-of-the-moment Luka Modric
[Caught Offside]

Rafa says Liverpool can improve upon last year’s 5-0 decimation of Villa tonight
[The Telegraph]

Spoiler promotion: Fancy a free punt? Of course you do, silly billy! Check out hundreds of pounds worth of free football bets at
OLBG Sports

A further helping of transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies

Ricardo Carvalho and Deco to Inter Milan
The biggest transfer news of a very slow day comes from Italy’s Sky Sport 24, who claim that Chelsea do not want Nicolas Burdisso or Maicon in exchange for Jose Mourinho’s good friends Deco and Ricardo Carvalho and are instead holding out for around £12 million for the pair.

The Spoiler truth-o-meter: Maicon’s agent Antonio Caliendo says that he expects his client to stay put this summer so it would make sense for Chelsea to take as much money as they can and shop elsewhere.

Felipe Melo is staying with Fiorentina
Just a day after being urged by international teammate Gilberto Silva to sign

“Tek a bow, son(s)”

With the end of the 2008/09 campaign only 24hrs away, The Spoiler takes a look back at the season’s finest goals and reveals our picks for the twenty greatest efforts. Part one documents goals 20-11…

#20: Ryan Taylor - Wigan 2-1 Newcastle, 26/12/08

The most inspired transfer activity of the season

As The Spoiler’s end of season festivities get into full swing, today we look at the best signings of the 2008/09 Premier League campaign. Sorry Wisey, Xisco and Coloccini didn’t make the cut…

Jose Bosingwa (Porto to Chelsea, £16.3m)
Whether Jose Bosingwa (or ‘Boswinga’ if you’re Jamie Redknapp) was officially a Big Phil Scolari signing is a point of contention, but considering the four other members of his inspirational clutch of signings have only racked up 22 starts and three goals between them, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. However, what can’t be argued against is how seamlessly the full back has slotted into Chelsea’s defence this season, in a role the Blues have previously struggled to fill.

James Beattie (Sheffield Utd to Stoke, £2.5m)
It was fair to assume Beattie’s Premier League days were numbered after a pretty woeful spell at Everton earned him a move down to the Championship with Sheffield United last season. Yet after answering Stoke’s SOS call in the January transfer window, Beatts has signaled his return to the top flight by averaging nearly a goal every other game and contributing to 13 of the 24 points Stoke have picked up since his arrival. Such season-saving form might just be the best £2.5m Tony Pulis has ever spent.

Marouane Fellaini (Standard Liege to Everton, £15m)
Fellaini’s Premier League success isn’t too surprising considering the fact that 32 foreign scouts were in the crowd to watch him play in Liege’s title-winning league match last season. Still, the lanky afro cultivator was pretty much unknown to fans over here until making his mark as the driving force behind a Liege team that by all rights should’ve beaten Liverpool to Champions League qualification at the start of the season. Clocking in with an impressive nine goals and firmly establishing himself as a midfield battler, that £15m price tag everyone laughed at now looks a bit less ridiculous.

Wilson Palacios (Wigan to Tottenham, £12m)
Harry Redknapp’s transfer market dial

Also appearing on a computer near you…

POW! Right in the kisser!
[101GG]

Alex tries to kill Peter Crouch
[Off The Post]

Why Newcastle could maybe get some kind of result when Manchester Utd visit tonight.
[chickendinner]

Luka Modric denies speculation that he is off to Italy
[FansFC]

West Ham are talking to five prospective new owners
[Daily Mail]

WAG Chanelle Hayes has misplaced her clothes (slightly NSFW)
[CamelTap]

Harry Redknapp runs an alcohol-free club - bad news for Ledley King
[Daily Express]

A: None of them!

Tottenham Hotspur employ several people whose sole purpose is to score goals. They are called ’strikers’, and they were distinctly absent from the Carling Cup penalty shoot-out, an occasion when the skill of scoring goals is extremely useful.

According to talkSPORT’s breakfast show, the reason for Spurs’ unlikely penalty-taker line-up (and subsequent underwhelming performance) was a general reticence to step up to the spot. When Harry Redknapp asked “who wants to take a penalty?” not a single player raised his hand.

Luka Modric is the first player to speak out about his penalty-taking anxiety, which stems from his failure to convert against Turkey during Euro 2008:

“I need to get over the fear. I do not want taking penalties to become a continuous problem for me.”

Messrs bent and Pavlyuchenko, we await your excuses. [Actually Mr Pavlyuchenko, you had been substituted by that point so your excuse is valid - Ed.]

Luka Modric “cannot stand his theatrics”

Tottenham players don’t like to complain, but Luka Modric felt the need to get a burning issue off of his chest when speaking to Croatian publication Sportske Novosti this week. The midfielder thinks the current World Player of the Year needs to spend less time rolling around on the floor, and more time, er, standing up:

“Ronaldo is a fantastic player and I do not have anything against him, but I cannot stand his theatrics.

“In England, it is a man’s game and his continuous complaints and dives have a negative effect. I do not know why he needs to do it all the time.”

Ronaldo paid the price for crying wolf one too many times when he was booked for diving in Sunday’s Carling Cup final, after what appeared to be a legitimate penalty claim.