1. Dimitar Berbatov is the worst signing in football since Seba Veron:
If anyone can name a truly big match Berbatov has turned or contributed to since he strutted in to Old Trafford last summer, could they kindly alert thespoiler. Surely £30million players should occasionally do that, or at least look like they are trying to.
At Spurs of course, Berbatov was a notorious flat-track bully, scoring just one goal against top-half opposition in his first season at the Lane. At United he has continued this trend, scoring this season against Wigan, Stoke and Sunderland.
Due to deference to Sir Alex, and how the spurs-obsessed media egged on the signing in the first place, the papers never analyse and corrode his transfer policy, as they do to Rafa. But this was bad, bad business indeed.
Fergie himself effectively recognised this when speaking to the weekend press about Berba’s strengths, declaring, “he knows when a short, simple pass is the best option.” Indeed - but there are probably cheaper players one can find on Hackney Marshes who can do that.
2. The Premier League is no good:
“Liverpool’s thunderous victory over Manchester United was a cracking scrap but where was the class?” So said Martin Samuel no less in today’s Daily Mail.
And in truth, that has been emblematic of the entire Premier League season. The most influential player on the game yesterday was probably Lucas. Jamie Redknapp’s post-match dissection informed us United were missing Darren Fletcher - both of whom are simply players who run around a lot and neither of whom one would pay to watch.
3. Barcelona are the best team in Europe this year:
Poor old Jermaine Pennant. Having been thrown onto the scrapheap in England, here was his chance back in the limelight at Camp Nou. He used Friday to mouth off about Rafa to ensure maximum pre-match press coverage, and Sky spent the weekend filling our screens with his blabber about how happy he was that his friends and family back in Blighty will finally get the chance to watch him play
So here old Jermaine was, at Camp Nou against the best team in the world. On the telly. And how did it go?
In truth, so awesome were Barca that Pennant might as well have been watching at home with his family too. He hardly touched the ball.
4. Mark Hughes spent badly in the summer:
£38m hasn’t bought him a decent pair of centre-halfs. Close to £50m on Tevez and Santa Cruz has yielded precisely two goals. The heat is now on City, who were always going to be reliant on results and momentum to keep a happy ship sailing along. Three draws in a row may spell trouble for Hughes.
5. Steve Bruce always buys well:
Hughes’ former United colleague on the other hand, does seem to understand the transfer market. Add Hugo Rodallega to a list that already includes Palacios, Zaki and Valencia.
6. Spurs start to the season hasn’t been as good as everyone thinks:
Ignore the freak win against Liverpool, and their other five wins have come against the five worst clubs in the division. Against top opposition, they have been found out time and again.
7. Ashley Young is getting back to his best:
Ever since Martin O’Neill hailed him a genius for that goal against Everton, Ashley Young hasn’t quite been himself. Villa fans will point to the absence of a natural left back behind Young as a cause of this trouble, with Luke Young filling in on his wrong side instead. As a result of having a right-footer on that flank, the ball down the line in behind which Young thrives on, has been that less frequent.
But with Saturday’s MOTM, and natural left-footer Stephen Warnock now ensconced as the Villa left-back, Young has been slowly getting back to business. He provided both goals in the victory against Chelsea, and his flick in the build-up to the Villa goal on Saturday was what Martin O’Neill would certainly call “genius”.
8. Steve Sidwell remains a true mystery:
Aston Villa’s points average per game with Steve Sidwell on the field is close to 2 pts better off than when he doesn’t play, yet nothing he does on the pitch suggests a reason for this. On Saturday, he cannoned the ball into Richard Dunne’s arse (admittedly a large target) rather than into an empty net, and for good measure, gave away the decisive penalty too. Surely it’s time for O’Neill to swallow his pride, and give Nigel Reo-Coker another chance.
9. Small, skilful players can no longer cut it in the Premiership:
The Championship’s two star performers this weekend, were two youngsters for whom there was no place in the physical minefield of the Premier League. Adel Taarabt and Peter Whittingham were deemed surplus to requirements at Spurs and Villa respectively, and are flourishing now in the Premier League. thespoiler is sad that there is no place in the top flight for these nimble, quirky players whom fans tend to adore.
The latest transfer gossip, rumours and damned lies
Frank Ribery to Manchester City
Ribery was keen to leave Germany in the summer, but Manchester United swallowed hard and balked at the price tag. The owners of Manchester City by contrast, don’t balk at much, and could no doubt find a spare shekel or two down the back of the couch to pass on to Bayern. Robinho’s replacement in January perhaps?
Thespoiler truth-ometer: If Bayern get out of their qualifying group, Ribery would be unlikely to walk out on a Champions League campaign. Having kept his powder dry, the French hunk is surely most likely to wait an extra few months, and attempt to engineer a move to one of Europe’s biggest clubs.
Romelu Lakuku to Arsenal
This 16 yr old striker has been keeping Tony Adams off the streets of late, with the ex Arsenal skipper being dispatched to spy on the Anderlecht striker. (Thanks to Caughtoffside for bringing the link to our attention)
Thespoiler truth-ometer: Given Adams’ scouting reports back to Wenger regarding Thomas Vermaelen (”I think Thomas is a very good player but I don’t think he’s ready for the Arsenal,”) and Emmanuel Adebayor (”Adebayor was playing for Monaco against Lille and he said what do you think of the left winger and I actually said no!”), it’s unlikely the Arsenal boss would send Big Tone to watch anyone he wanted to sign. It might be a decoy.
Vadis Odjidja to Tottenham
Premier League commentators everywhere will be praying this transfer doesn’t go through, but today’s Sun reveals Spurs are monitoring the 20yr old from Brugge. Odjidja can play anywhere across the back line or midfield, so should be a suitable replacement for any of Spurs’ injury-prone defenders / midfielders.
Thespoiler truth-ometer: A signing more in tune with the imaginative Comoli regime, rather than Harry’s transfer plan of just bringing back old Spurs players or anyone managed by Willie McKay. The Current Bun quote Odjidja simply as saying, “I cannot rule anything out,” which is simply the Sun saying, “We need to fill some space here. Anyone got a quote?”
If you’re not a fan of physical violence, it may be wise to avoid East Lancashire this weekend. Sunday sees the first top-division derby between Burnley and Blackburn since New Years Day 1966, and a bit of tear-up is sadly inevitable.
To get you in the mood, thespoiler lists its six favourite Premier League derbies of all time. Clicking ‘Read More’ should do the trick…
The biggest television station in Catalunia no less, is reporting that Barcelona will sign Manchester City passenger Robinho in January. TV3 are tonight reporting Barcelona have confirmed to their sources, that the Brazilian will join the European Cup holders on loan for six months, with a permanent deal to be discussed after the World Cup.
So if you like your stepovers, you know where to go in 2010.
The big debate: Treat those who paid for your house with decency or antagonise them?
Tough one. Harry Redknapp knows the answer though. Writing in today’s Sun (available online for those who have dramatically ripped up their copy already,) big H makes it clear where he stands. On Adebayor he says:
What on earth was controversial about it?
He took a load of abuse from Arsenal fans, scored against them, ran the length of the pitch to the away end and dropped to his knees as if to say to them ‘I’ve scored, ‘ave some of that’.
I think the FA are wrong to charge him in the first place. But, then again, I think the whole goal celebration issue has got way out of hand.
Whereas Carlos Tevez’s apologetic celebration is lambasted:
Look at Carlos Tevez on Monday night. He scores against his old club West Ham and then says he refused to celebrate because of his love for the club and its supporters.
What a load of old tosh.
I couldn’t for the life of me see why he didn’t want to punch the air in recognition of a goal. Why shouldn’t he?
He should have scored the goal and then celebrated like he wanted to inside.
He has no reason to be on the same side as West Ham fans.
Redknapp puzzlingly concludes:
If you don’t want to score goals, don’t play football.
Redknapp’s verdict is of course nothing to do with the fact that were Adebayor to obtain a further ban, he would miss City’s next match against Aston Villa, who happen to be Spurs big rivals for a Europa League spot.
So what is the verdict readers? Agree with Harry? Or has Tevez demonstrated a better example of how to behave?
In the biblical tale of the Prodigal Son, a young man ventures to the big city to fill up on wine and hookers before going home to lead a normal domestic life as an accountant, or something. In some ways, it’s exactly the same tale as that of Shaun Wright-Phillips and Manchester City, only without the fatted calf, the hookers, the wine… the bible. But no matter.
This, along with Heskey’s suspected return to Liverpool, got The Spoiler to thinking, and by the time we’d polished off our lunchtime amuse bouche followed by soup, we’d pretty much compiled a team made up of returning players. All with varying degrees of success.
In goal, we went for everyone’s favourite drug-eating maniac, Mark Bosnich.
In a horrible example of life imitating Jerry Maguire, Wagner Ribeiro (football agent) has been shown the door by Robinho, having snared his client the best football deal ever made. The pair had been together six years, with Ribeiro taking the tricky winger from Santos to Real Madrid, then to Man City to enjoy a whopping £160,000 a week. What more could he have done? Certain sectors are insisting that Robinho did the right thing after Ribeiro bitched openly about Real Madrid during the summer’s Cristiano Ronaldo fiasco - he insisted that they had let Robinho down by not treating him like the best player in the world. Plus, rumours are going around that the Brazilian desperately wanted to go to Chelsea all along.
Could it be that Robinho isn’t quite as happy as a megabucks move to Manchester’s second best team would suggest?
Let us know what you think with a vote.
Alternatively, see how we imagine it happened after the jump… only he gets sacked at the end…
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