When Manchester City invested in a form of media whose sole purpose was to irritate their red rivals, they opened themselves up to abuse from a very dangerous type of person: the anonymous websurfer with a basic command of Photoshop and five minutes to spare before their next game of World of Warcraft.
As you can see, these vitriolic folks have put aside their latest Guardian Gallery entry to sling pixellated mud at one another. The City riposte above not only draws attention to Michael Owen’s persistent injury problems, but also to the fact that Old Trafford lies outside the boundaries of the city of Manchester. How devilish!
Portuguese star loves Manchester City’s most famous fans
Much like Cristiano Ronaldo, Noel and Liam Gallagher aren’t famed for their modesty. Yet the swaggering Oasis stars would happily admit that their band is immensely inferior to their biggest influence and primary source of material, The Beatles.
The Real Madrid winger and pop aficionado, however, believes the Manchester band are actually better than the Fab Four:
“Liverpool have The Beatles and Manchester have Oasis. I think we (Manchester) have the better band.
“I have all the Oasis albums [Even Standing on the Shoulder of Giants? Seriously? - Ed.] but my favourite track by far is Champagne Supernova. It’s an absolute classic.
“One thing I will miss about Manchester is Oasis.
“I will be honest, I didn’t even know who they were when I first arrived in Manchester, but you can’t live there long without knowing who they are.
“The lads in the dressing room loved them, especially the English boys.
“When I came to England I was into my techno, but I think Oasis are one of my favourite bands now.”
The Spoiler is a big Oasis fan, but to suggest they are better than The Beatles is a bit like saying a light bulb is better than the sun, or that an MK Dons supporter is better than a fan of a proper team that wasn’t unlawfully pillaged from elsewhere. Perhaps the tricky winger - who has already proved his exceptional taste in music - is merely trying to wind up Merseyside.
Such is his love of the Brit rockers, Ronaldo even proposed
Katrina Harrison is a 23-year-old glamour model, whom you may seen on the pages of gentleman’s periodicals Zoo and Nuts. It’s unknown if Liverpool’s David N’Gog is a fan of these sophisticated weekly publications, but the brunette lingerie specialist has managed to catch the Frenchman’s attention…
A few weeks ago, Cristiano Ronaldo decided to raise his insurance premiums even further into the stratosphere by making some drastic alterations to the chassis of his gorgeous £200,000 Ferrari 599 GTB.
Today, he has insisted his driving skills are not to blame for the accident:
“I actually consider myself a good driver. I’ve never had an accident ins ix years, apart from this one.
“I was unlucky, I caught oil on the road, a bit of ice and there you are.”
Perhaps Ronaldo did fall foul of Manchester’s notorious oily-ice tunnels, but are we meant to believe he was sticking to a safe speed? We’re not sure what the official speed limit of the road is, but the only way he could have done that much damage to the front of the car at 30mph would be if he hit a landmine.
In another display of dog-like loyalty to the people who pay him £120,000 per week, Cristiano Ronaldo has told Spanish magazine XL Semanal that he does not like life in Manchester, but has become “accustomed” to it:
Manchester is very different from Portugal, where I miss the beaches, the sun, the sea…
I am accustomed to life here, but that does not mean that I like it.
In the interview that will be distributed with Spanish papers this weekend, C-Ron also revealed that he receives around 2,000 fan letters a week, and spends £2,500 a week replying to them all. “It is a pleasure for me to answer them,” he said, despite the fact that he is quite obviously paying someone else to reply to them.
Manchester Utd striker opens up geographical debate
When asked about the possibility of moving abroad in an interview last week, Wayne Rooney (pictured after being made to sit through insultingly bad musical We Will Rock You) scoffed at the idea, and implied that even our nation’s capital seems foreign to him:
“Come on, can you ever see me playing for a foreign team? I love England, I love being close to my family.
“To be honest I don’t even like going down to London. I am not comfortable there. I’m a northern lad and I’d like to think I could stay here for the rest of my career.”
Granted, it’s expensive, over-crowded and the fish and chip shops won’t batter anything you present them with, but Rooney has had less than a torrid time in London: he made his England debut at the Boleyn in 2003, and has scored against all five London Premier League clubs, and has also managed a couple of goals at The Valley.
However, the balding badge kisser has scored more international goals in Manchester (four) than London (three) and he has only been victorious on four of the eight occasions he has scored away to London clubs, losing the last two.
We’ve heard Rooney’s opinion, but is the capital a friend or a foe? Lets settle this once and for all…
Serbian risks wrath of “joyless” fans with controversial comments
A few months ago, Ukrainian fashionista Andriy Voronin thought it appropriate to criticise his charmed life in the north of England, and now Nemanja Vidic has jumped on the anti-UK bandwagon via comments in Russian magazine Football Weekly.
The Manchester Utd centre-back, who comes from a landlocked country with a tumultuous political past and an average wage three times lower then that in Britain, has criticised the weather and “joyless” people over here:
‘I will never stay to live in England, that’s for sure.’
‘The climate here is something special! You get only a brief glimpse of sunlight before it’s all cloudy again. The winters are mild but in summer the temperatures seldom go higher than 20 degrees Celsius. And it rains, rains, rains!
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