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Roy Keane, typically sympathetic towards the FAI

Sven is going to run out of fingers to put in pies
[Daily Mail]

Once it’s confirmed there’s no chance of a replay, TH14 asks for a replay
[The Sun]

Craig Bellamy could be finished in two years
[Guardian]

Eric Abidal has swine flu, as might Yaya Toure
[Mirror]

Liverpool want Juve starlet Seb Giovinco
[Caught Offside]

Striker helps show rival to the door at Eastlands…

Is Roque Santa Cruz greasing up the wheels of Robinho’s winter transfer to Barcelona? Man City’s £18m striker put the jinking Brazilian right in it during a recent radio interview with Catalunya Radio, by announcing Robinho regularly reminds his teammates he’d rather being doing his jinking alongside Lionel Messi than, er, Roque Santa Cruz:

Of course he talks to us about it. And the players are cracking jokes about it in the dressing room.

In the English papers there’s a lot of interest about Barca and Robinho is also not hiding his desire to play for them one day. But I guess we’ll see.

Welcome to Manchester, I say welcome to Manchester…

According to The Sun, Carlos Tevez has taken a leaf out of Dimitar Berbatov’s book and is using TV to finally learn English. But whereas Berbs took linguistic cues (and style advice) from Al Pacino and co. in The Godfather, Tevez has chosen to study at the feet of resident shemale, Hayley Cropper, star of ITV soap Coronation Street.

The Argentinean striker was convinced to take up English lessons by Man City team-mate and compatriot Pablo Zabaleta:

I have told Carlos he needs to come to me for lessons. It is important to learn because we need to speak with team-mates and managers and everyone. Plus we are living in England for the future.

Boss Dick Advocaat maintains hardline policy…

New Belgium manager Dick Advocaat was brought into whip an unbelievably underachieving squad into shape, and he’s taking his job pretty seriously. Marouane Fellaini is already a marked man, having missed a match to go to the dentist and reported for training in the wrong coloured socks.

Now Vincent Kompany has felt Dick’s wrath, being told to pack his bags after failing to get back in time from his grandmother’s funeral in Brussels, as Belgium were preparing for last night’s clash with Qatar.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Some respite from videos of girls kicking each other to pieces on the pitch - awww. [spotted on Deadspin]

Nothing else going on today - play Spectrum ZX-era Football Manager online
[EPL Talk]

Toon defender crashes into wall made of wild boar
[The Sun]

It’s not all bad - Carlo Cudicini gets to be nursed back to health by this lady
[Caught Offside]

Salomon Kalou spends the international break fighting
[Daily Mail]

Emmanuel Adebayor is unable to talk about anything that isn’t related to Arsenal
[Mirror]

Unsurprisingly, Nani is looks to be heading out of Old Trafford
[Telegraph]

Whose dugout would you like to see the Portugeezer rock up in?

Over the weekend Jose Mourinho took a break from bullying football’s favourite pensioner and being told what to do by Samuel Eto’o, to confirm what we all already knew - he wants a Premier League comeback sooner rather than later:

I love Inter and would love to build for the future here. In fact, I am doing it now because I am not a selfish coach and I’m thinking about the future in terms of youth development and the age structure of my first team.

But Italy is not the country for this. England is the country — and my football is English football. I am ready for the next phase of my career — I want to work with a different perspective.

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The Spoiler might quit the day job and get into the growing “women’s football violence” industry [spotted on Dirty Tackle]

Really classy bunch at The Mirror - top 10 footballers who survived car crashes
[The Mirror]

Rafa Benitez is delirious
[Daily Mail]

The Premier League’s best benchwarmers
[Caught Offside]

Man City have their own pointless friendly, lose
[101 Great Goals]

‘R.O.I.’ and ‘France’ get into it, vis-a-vis executive boxes
[Off the Post]

Brazil friendly update: JT injured, Wayne Rooney could take the captain’s armb..ZzZzZzZz
[Football365]

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Well in.

Luke Young retires from international football
[BBC Football]

I think a “LOL” is in order here. Is that Adrian from Rocky?
[Pies]

After the Rafa/Phil Brown/Jedward mashup of a few days ago, Fleet Street’s Photoshop goons are excelling themselves
[The Sun]

Carlton Cole - Liverpool’s unlikely hero?
[Caught Offside]

Mexico’s new kit takes inspiration from the shittest fashion trend in a long while
[ONTD]

Behind the scenes at WC2010
[Daily Mail]

Schumacher’s 1994 Benetton car? Yours for £2m
[Telegraph]