Liverpool captain can now blast his guns in relative privacy

The papers this morning have been making a big fuss about the monstrous £350,00 gym Steven Gerrard is building in the garden of his monstrous £2m mansion in the Merseyside suburb of Freshfield: The Daily Mail questioned if any asylum seekers were hiding inside it, The Daily Express said it never would have been built if Princess Diana were still here, while The Sun didn’t find room to cover the story as they had exclusive pictures of someone who looked vaguely like Madeleine McCann in a playground in Outer Mongolia.

Residents have correctly complained that the ‘ASDA Supermarket’-style building is not in keeping with the tacky-looking prefab mansions beautiful local properties in the area, yet the biggest concern should be that WAG Alex Curran has insisted that a solarium is included in the complex. The orange glow coming off that girl can already be seen for several miles, and if she has a personal fake tan emporium at her disposal, Merseyside will probably experience something akin to permanent sunlight. And nobody wants that - it would really confuse the owls.

More pictures after the jump…

Chelsea’s head honcho now owns slightly more of London

Although his attendance at Chelsea games has been less than exemplary of late, any rumours that Roman Abramovich is bored with his West London plaything may be quashed by his latest property investment.

The Russian oligarch originally bought a flat for in the pricey SW1 Lowndes Square building for just over £1m in the late nineties. He and (ex-) wife Irina lived there for several years, but it seems model girlfriend Daria Zhukova requires a little more space for her expansive array of tiny bikinis. Hence, Rom has slowly bought up the rest of the building and can now realise his dream of turning the whole thing into a gigantic palatial residence…