Real lose one game without C-Ron, go into complete meltdown

If there’s one thing the Spanish football press love more than those crazy upside down question marks, then it’s pouncing on an opportunity to shed doubt over the internal goings on Real Madrid. Today, there are plenty of stories to suggest that all is not well at the Bernabeu.

Up until last weekend, Los Blancos had enjoyed a 100 per cent record in La Liga, but this was brought to an abrupt end by Seville. AS tell us how Cristiano Ronaldo “suffered” while watching the game on TV, and Marca have taken the Portuguese star’s absence as an opportunity to run a hasty poll. According to their statistics, a whopping 58 per cent of Madridistas believe they have “Ronaldodependencia”, or rather an over-dependence on the Portuguese Man-o’-sex. A slightly rash conclusion, considering the season is six games old and cursed Ronny has missed only one of them.

Meanwhile, Sport has revealed (unsubstantiated) details of a post-Seville handbags session between Karim Benzema and Manuel Pellegrini. Apparently, the notoriously outspoken Frenchman has already grown tired of being replaced in big games, and has expressed his disapproval of sharing attacking duties with 412-year-old legend Raul, as

Media fail to make Portuguese man-o’-sex feel welcome in Madrid

Never ones to wildly speculate or make stuff up based on thoroughly insufficient evidence, the vultures of the Spanish press seem to be circling around Cristiano Ronaldo of late.

A few weeks ago, Madrid-based daily paper Marca ran a story on their front cover claiming the Portuguese was struggling to fit into the side, and that he was therefore suffering from ‘Zidane Syndrome’. This assessment was made before La Liga 2009/10 had even started, and was thoroughly devoid of quotes or proof.

This morning, they have reintroduced their anxiety theory with the help of Jorge Valdano, the Madrid sporting director who seems to be piping up a lot more of late. He is quoted as saying:

“In the first league game I liked Cristiano.

Brazilian to complete move to Spain within a week…

Florentino Perez will be formally installed as Real Madrid president on Monday, and will start shaking things up almost immediately. According to Spanish paper AS, Madrid will replace Juande Ramos with Villarreal manager Manuel Pellegrini on Tuesday. Apparently, their interest in Arsene Wenger has waned as the brainy Frenchman has failed to make contact with them.

On the new player front, Spanish football radio show El Larguero (”The Crossbar”) have claimed that Kaka will be unveiled at the Bernebeu next Thursday, with Los Blancos paying AC Milan €65m for the privilege. The theory is supported by Milan vice president Adriano Galliani, who admitted Kaka will imminently depart