Oh, maniac alert…

Great football players have two things in common. 1. Tremendous skills, and 2. Total insanity. We’ve all heard the stories about Gazza marching around hotels demanding ham, or Maradona plunging his face into mountainous piles of freshly chopped cocaine. Hell, even Pele thought it not at all strange to do erection adverts.

And now, great news, you can add another name to that list - Ronaldo. Yes, we all knew he had the sublime skills as a player, but we weren’t sure that he had the necessary brain deficiency to make it into the pantheon of the greats. Until he tested positive for “looney” by putting a lady’s hat on.

Welcome to brilliance, you madman.

The ‘Bum Trap’ to be introduced to football’s rich lexicon

This week, Argentinean legend Maradona returned to the pitch for a charity game in Rome hosted by Eros Ramazzotti (one of the most successful Italian singer/songwriters of all time, apparently). Just when you thought you had seen the entire contents of the FIFA Player of the Century’s trick book, he goes and writes another chapter. At around (0.24), he receives a lateral pass and traps it with his sizeable derrière. Take that, conventional football techniques!

And despite it being a charity game, it’s great to see the 47-year-old go down like a sack of shit to win a penalty.

[The Offside]

Brazilian striker gets to work on his legend

Brazilian striker Romario may have hung his boots up this month, but it seems he forgot to tell his mouth about it. While his departure from the game was hastened by a doping ban, which the great one claims was caused by some rogue element in his hair restorer, he seems determined to keep the spotlight firmly upon himself.

Appearing on a Brazilian chatshow called “Fantastico”, Romario wanted his fans to know that he once had sex on a plane while part of the Brazilian squad, somewhere over Switzerland.

He was also eager to confirm that retirement has in no way