Also appearing on a computer near you…

The Offside catch Germany coach Joachim Loew forgetting about the thousands of people and cameras surrounding him

Paul Ince is in contention to take Fergie’s throne at Old Trafford
[chickendinner Bet Blog]

Why supporting Croatia is just like supporting England
[UK Football Finder]

Car Porn: The world’s first electric/ solar/ petrol hybrid
[Grid Crasher]

Marcus Bent and Gemma Atkinson hit the beach
[WithLeather]

David Pleat’s mispronunciation XI
[Pies]

Today’s transfer rumours, as made up to fill column inches in the nationals

Aside from the superteam that the papers are dreaming up at Chelsea, the other big news today comes from Spurs. Apparently Darren ‘purchase of the season’ Bent is looking for pastures new, and Roy Keane’s Sunderland could be the team to pay him £30k a week to finally get off the bench…

Heurelho Gomes to Tottenham
Gomes claims the proud honour of being the 571st goalkeeper linked with Spurs this summer. At this rate Paul Robinson will be starting the opening game.The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Would be a good signing for Spurs

Darren Bent to Sunderland
Has anyone noticed how quiet things have grown on the Berbatov front? Instead it’s Darren Bent who is apparently the striker most eager to escape North London.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Could depend Berbatov’s movements

Fernando Torres, Franck Ribery, Kaka, Ronaldinho, Deco and Robinho to Chelsea
The kitchen sink will shortly be arriving on a Bosman.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Deco likely, Robinho maybe, the others doubtful.

Marcus Bent to Hull
A day after The Spoiler highlighted one of the newly promoted clubs as the most likely location for that other striker called Bent, The Sun reports

Today’s transfer gossip, assessed and dissected just for you

Precious little Alex Hleb last month claimed his sensitive eardrums couldn’t handle the bustle of urban life in London, and he now seeks a more serene atmosphere. If the rumours of a move to Barcelona are true, however, he will find anything but the peace and quiet he seeks: in the Catalan city, honking at all hours is considered a national pastime, shouting is the preferred method of communication and the bars are completely full of loutish British stag parties every weekend. Enjoy the relative calm of London while you can, Alex.

Alex Hleb to Barcelona or maybe Bayern Munich
The honeymooning star has been linked with absolutely everyone in the past few weeks, even Rushden and Diamonds have a shot at landing him. His agent says: “The only transfer Alexander is making at the moment is from the hotel to the beach and back.”

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: He’ll be linked to AC or Roma tomorrow

Gareth Barry to Liverpool
Those Real Madrid-esque bullies, using Steven Gerrard as bait, have finally turned Barry’s head and the Villa captain has told his club he wants out. Liverpool are expected to up their offer today.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Seems likely now

Justin Hoyte to Aston Villa
A miserable day for Villa fans may get worse if they sign Arsenal’s other Englishman. You know, the guy that plays even less than Theo Walcott and sometimes gets in the Arsenal League Cup team.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: If it gets any bleaker, O’Leary will be back!

Luis Felipe Scolari to Chelsea
“Big Phil” has revealed

Marcus Bent’s WAG still photogenic

Don’t bother wasting any more time pointing your camera at the Grand Canyon, your first born child or the devastating effects of war, as this morning’s Daily Star declared Gemma Atkinson’s latest shoot to be ‘The best pics you’ll EVER see in your life!’

More Gemma after the jump.

An anatomy of a Premier League star’s ink

In this snap of Marcus Bent on holiday in Spain, your eyes may be immediately drawn to the WAG with the novelty boobs laying at his feet. If you care to draw your eyes north of Gemma Atkinson, you will be treated to Bent’s incredibly veiny legs, and a little further up the picture you get Marcus’ gnarly tats.

Adorning the stomach is a word that looks like ‘GARRAD’, and on the left shoulder a design favoured by those who want a tattoo but have no idea what to get. But the right shoulder is his Pièce de résistance: just below

But it’s only acting, daahrling

In her greatest (read: only) acting challenge since Hollyoaks, Marcus Bent’s better half is to star in forthcoming UK film Boogie Woogie. It also features Heather Graham, Gillian Anderson and Christopher Lee, and according to the synopsis on IMDB, it has bugger all to do with disco or pornography production in the 1970s.

Gemma’s raison d’être in the film is a ‘naked lesbian romp’ with Jamie Winstone, daughter of Ray. On the subject of the girl-on-girl fling, Ms. Atkinson told OK! Magazine:

“Jamie put me at ease completely. I just got on with it and thought, come on then, this is what being an actress is about! We had a shot of vodka each and just got down to it!”

She also tells the celebrity news rag that Marcus prefers her kissing girls, rather than the men she had to fool around with on Hollyoaks. Shocking, that.

The footballer lovin’ model is about to assault the music charts

Having been romantically affiliated with Marcus Bent, Alan Smith and Cristiano Ronaldo, glamour model Gemma Atkinson is a fully fledged member of the WAG circuit. The 23-year-old Manchester lass made her name on teen soap Hollyoaks, and has since bolstered a thoroughly impressive CV with appearances on

Gemma Atkinson calls her ‘boyf’ to bail her out of a bar tab