We read them so you don’t have to

UPDATE - Now with added correct answer

Belated congratulations to MwepuLlunga, Dark Knight and Chris A, for correctly telling the world that this extract, was from criminal Mark Ward’s recent book ‘Right Wing to B Wing’.

Today’s effort, in the ungoogleable competiton that is soon to retire leaving the people wanting more, is below. Whose chat is this:

The final game of the season, the final game of my league career, was at home to Barnsley. We had beaten them 1-0 at Oakwell earlier in the season in a match played in deep snow. Their centre-half, Mick McCarthy, had kicked lumps out of me for the whole game. Mick wasn’t my favourite man at the time, although he’s a friend now, and became a player at Manchester City for a while. I asked him if he got pleasure out of kicking an old man, and he just laughed. In that last match he was doing exactly the same. Eventually I’d had enough, so I turned round and gave him a whack with a big tackle and got sent off. It was a good tackle all right, and by the time the referee came over I was already on my way. I knew what was coming.

Leave your answer below, and the actual answer will be unveiled in tomorrow’s installment.

Mark Ward makes good use of his time behind bars

During a career that spanned through the eighties and nineties, Mark Ward notched up an enviable list of achievements: he played in Wembley cup finals, scored in Merseyside derbies for his hometown club Everton, and came within a few points of winning the league with the lauded West Ham team of 1986. Stuart Pearce once singled him out as the trickiest opponent he ever face, and after a game at Nottingham Forest, Brian Clough declared: “Take Ward to the [1986] World Cup.”

After being relieved of his duties as Altrincham player/manager in 2001, however, Ward’s fortunes took a turn for the worse. Playing in an era where professionals weren’t set up for life with ridiculous pay packages (his biggest contract earned him £2,000 per week), Ward was getting by on handouts and income support. After accepting an offer to rent out a house in his name and hand over the keys to a third party who would pay him a weekly wage, Ward found himself on the wrong side of the police, who raided the property