28 days to go until the window is flung open

It’s only four weeks until the January transfer window opens and all eyes turn eagerly towards Manchester City in the hope they they will pump some money around and get a merry-go-round started. What better time than now then for The Spoiler to bring back it’s daily transfer rumour round-up? Here are the latest whisperings that we’ve heard:

Dean Ashton to the highest bidder
Everybody is expecting a FIRE SALE! at West Ham next month but which player do the Daily Mirror think is on top of every Premier League club’s wishlist? Not Robert Green, who starred against Arsenal and Liverpool, nor Matthew Upson, who has established himself as England’s third-choice centre-back. Instead it’s injury-prone pizza fan Dean Ashton, who may not play again this season, who West Ham are supposedly expecting £18 million for.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Any sale would surely happen in the summer and for a seven-figure fee

Emile Heskey to Aston Villa

Use your vote wisely…

The scenario: You’re the manager of a Premier League team, and you’re allowed to strengthen your squad by signing just one player in the January transfer window. But you can only choose someone from Aston Villa’s squad - so who do you pick?

Your options: Captain Gareth Barry is obviously in the frame, and it’s hard to overlook the youthful promise of Ashley Young and Gabriel Agbonlahor. Or you might want a big bruiser like John Carew. At the back, Brad Friedel is a rock, while Martin Laursen is a class act at the heart of Villa’s back four.

So much choice, but there can be only one. The decision is yours. Vote below:

Boring men in red set for a dull weekend…

Only a smidgen into the new season and already Liverpool have morphed into the Chelsea of old, pummeling their way to cruel unappealing victories. This, of course, means that they will definitely win the league whilst simultaneously turning the entire world off the idea of watching a football match for fun. That said, our pals at Chickendinner are convinced that they won’t be winning ugly at Villa this weekend, that’s for damn sure. Here’s why:

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1. Two of the last three league meetings between the sides have ended all square, including their most recent contest, a 2-2 draw at Anfield in January.

2. In the last five seasons, Liverpool have only twice managed to win at Villa Park, having been held on the three other occasions.

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Yesterday evening, The Spoiler correctly predicted that Valencia’s refusal to sell David Silva to Man United would force Sir Alex Ferguson to up his Dimitar Berbatov bid. Reports today suggest that the Red Devils have thrust £28 million in Spurs’ direction. Will Spurs cave in and leave themselves open to ‘feeder club’ jibes again this close to kick-off? The latest whispers suggest Juande Ramos will be desperately trying to fill the gaping Bulgarian-shaped hole in his strikeforce within the next 24 hours.

James Milner to Aston Villa
A week ago Aston Villa looked to be in trouble. Martin O’Neill had all but conceded defeat in the Gareth Barry saga and nobody new was arriving. With Nicky Shorey, Luke Young and Carlos Cuellar, however, the skies are blue, the sun is shining, Barry is still there and Milner is ready to join.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter: Villa are signalling their intent to improve further on last season

Anton’s off again
Despite Anton Ferdinand saying he has no desire to leave

If you’re reading this on Thursday morning, welcome brother/sister, the sun is still nice and shiny (although we just heard thunder) and free love rules. If it’s Thursday evening/ Friday morning, please help, we’re hiding in an alleyway just behind the office, and there’s a big guffawing clown with blonde hair stomping around saying he owns London and punching people in the face. Call the police.

The final day of freedom’s transfers read thusly:

Micah Richards to Manchester United
The growing hum in the north is that Micah Richards might dare to cross the City/United divide, and spend next season making Wes Brown totally regret signing a new contract. Apparently he has been sickened by his club’s treatment on gentle Sven - and for a humble £23 million, he may be keen to experience a whole new world of angry locals.

Leo Messi to Manchester United
The more sluttish United supporters have decided that Messi may actually be sexier than Ronaldo. The solution: dump Ronaldo, get Messi! They are naughty.

Michael Johnson to Arsenal
Arsene Wenger is so sick and tired of everyone telling him that no one in his side is from England, that he may yet be driven to buying Gareth Barry AND Michael Johnson in an unruly spending rage. Then everyone can shut up, and the promising midfielders can join Richard Wright and Francis Jeffers on the secret list of English players who shouldn’t have gone to Arsenal.

Another day, and the chattering voices have been spluttering about transfers. Next season, it appears we can expect at least one more talented Spaniard in our ranks, someone with a weird name, and two of Tottenham’s finest might relocate to the Midlands…

Aaron Lennon and Tom Huddlestone to Aston Villa
Martin O’Neill has clearly been studying Alex Ferguson’s 1990s blueprints as he continues his quest to build a young English side. Next on the menu - Quickie and Fattie from Spurs?

David Villa to Arsenal
The wealthy pockets of Chelsea have demanded him, but Villa has been overheard gushing about how cool Arsenal are. Might Arsene be tempted to unlock his wallet for this one? Around £20 million would do it - that’s seven Adebayors in Wenger speak.

The Spoiler meets the patriotic front at Soho Square

Earlier today, The Spoiler was alerted to a huge fuss being made down at Soho Square. A mass of xenophobic yobs were said to be protesting at the FA’s decision to put another foreign manager in charge of the national side.

Naturally, we ran down as fast as we could, taping up jewellery and getting ready to windmill in, all in the name of