Blackburn not good enough for inexperienced MOTD pundit
The Daily Telegraph are today reporting that Alan Shearer may turn down the chance to succeed Mark Hughes because he “is not convinced that Blackburn would be the right place for him.”
Yes that’s right, a man whose post-retirement career has relied on professionally stating the bleedin’ obvious (and making Mark Lawrenson’s analysis seem groundbreaking in comparison) on Match of the Day could turn down the seventh-best team in the Premier League because they aren’t ‘right’ for him.
In comparison, the candidates who could miss out because of Shearer’s apparent God-given right to a top job are Sam Allardyce, who took Bolton to a League Cup Final and into Europe, and Paul Ince, who since retiring has knuckled down and spent 18 months overachieving with Franchise FC in League Two, winning two trophies.
Shearer also appears ignorant of the opportunities afforded to Blackburn managers - the last two
Blue Square has been forced to close their book on Match of the Day’s Goal of the Month competition, as a disproportionate amount of people were voting for Emmanuel Adebayor’s wonder strike against Spurs in September (2:40 in the video above). Ruling out the possibilities that this was the best goal and that’s why people voted for it, the bookies have pulled the market last night amid whispers of a leak at the Big British Castle.
The BBC claim there is ‘no evidence to suggest a leak’ of the result, yet punters placed
After a gripping season finale and Euro 2008 to keep the public entertained, you’d assume that MOTD would be home to enthusiastic and thoughtful BBC pundits, and yet, on last night’s evidence, the honchos in charge should be on the phone begging Wright to rethink. Not to mention pleading with Gavin Peacock to renounce his faith and possibly replace the increasingly irksome Lineker, whose big joke last night was that Trinidad and Tobago are two countries. Hilarious Gary, just brilliant.
With such an intricate little beard, Gavin Peacock has always had the look of a patient man. And unlike some of the brainless blabbermouths plonked next to him at the BBC’s Football HQ, his comments are often insightful and interesting - in a similar vein to the kind of things Jesus probably used to say in temples to groups of muttering elders. So, is it any wonder that Peacock is moving ever closer to the Lord?
Chiles and co check out ill-mannered geriatrics and blatant homoeroticism
There are plenty of reasons why MOTD2 is infinitely better than its Saturday night precursor: there’s no Lawrenson, there’s more games to see and there’s the always-brilliant ‘2 Good 2 Bad’ feature. In last weekend’s show, the final one of the season, Adrian Chiles talked us through some passionate celebrating at Fulham, Jaïdi’s Academy Award-nominated dive and a very rude Reading supporter. Good work, fellas.
New Gladiators presenter feels he’s not being taken seriously enough in his role as a pundit
Professional gob Ian Wright has told the BBC he is taking his punditry elsewhere after accusing them of treating him like a “comedy jester.”
The Spoiler had always assumed Wrighty’s barrow boy approach to the game was all of his own design, but Wright said “I feel like I’m just there as a comedy jester to break the ice with Alan Shearer and Alan Hansen who just do run-of-the-mill things. I can’t do that anymore. People want something different.”
While never the most insightful of analysts and prone to heaping undeserved praise on “Shaun”, Ian Wright deserves the viewers’ congratulations for a) having the backbone to quit instead of continuing to pocket a paycheck (said to be in the region of
Arsenal legend provides welcome alternative to the matey blandness of Shearer and pals
Match of the Day 2 has been cleaning Match of the Day’s clock for a long time now. Personable Chiles is better than link-machine Lineker, Lee Dixon is a bright and insightful analyst, providing stiff competition for alpha pundit Alan Hansen’s cold, all-seeing defensive eye. Meanwhile Alan Shearer’s preference for stating the obvious is threatening to drag the flagship beneath the waves.
Now, with the addition of Tony Adams to “Day 2″, “Day” has slipped even further behind. At first sight he exhibits a quite disturbing level of discomfort at being on television, yet the ill-fitting, poorly coordinated clothes and the hair that product forgot provide the perfect framework for his troubled observations. While the main MOTD is all sweatery banter, straight from the golf club,
Wide receiver loses it in defence of Tony Romo’s rubbishness
Tony Romo, star quarterback with the Dallas Cowboys, may have set team records for touchdown passes, completions and passing yards this season, but it hasn’t covered his side in glory: the Cowboys’ season is over.
The Cowboys lost in the playoffs on Sunday to the New York Giants (a game they should have won easily), and his unimpressive performance has left the people of Dallas scratching their enormous heads, even if many are lining up to blame his WAG Jessica Simpson for putting some sort of emasculating hex on him.
In the midst of all this Texan self-loathing, it’s good to see that wide receiver teammate Terrell Owens has got Romo’s back, and isn’t afraid to turn on the waterworks in his defence.
As the Newcastle monster devours the last morsels of its Big Sam meal, an unqualified local awaits his turn…
Were there such a thing as a map of national fiasco, Newcastle would be the biggest dot in the country. But if you think that hard-earned reputation will fade when Sam Allardyce’s rage-filled pantomime rolls out of town, as it surely must soon, think again.
An even greater calamity is set to take over at the North East’s Regional Theatre of Unintentional Comedy in the form of the Alan Shearer show, a short play in which a large group of beer-bellied proles grow increasingly bitter as they realize the man they believed was a messiah turns out to be beyond useless.
Richard Williams, writing in the Guardian last week, claimed Shearer was too grand to consider serving an apprenticeship before taking over at Newcastle, or even England.
Yet for all Shearer’s popularity - and gigantic sense of self-worth - Mike Ashley need only glance at Match of the Day each week to gain a sense that his reading of the game is unlikely to trouble the greater tactical brains of the Premier League. In fact, Shearer manages to pull off the improbable feat of saying nothing yet still managing to contradict himself.
His most recent display of insubstantial punditry came last Saturday, December 29. The “highlights” are as follows…
When chirpy Canadian popster Daniel Powter wrote the irritating tune ‘Bad Day’, he must have had a dismal twenty-four hours. But probably not as bad as Ian Wright had yesterday. Not only was his Range Rover taken away by
