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Carlo Ancelotti shows his hidden talent
[101GG]

El Hadji Diouf wants to some across as even more of an arse, so he has bought a Gallas-esque chrome Mercedes
[Daily Mail]

Joey Barton must be pretty happy with how his life is turning out
[The Sun]

A Sydney FC player has been suspended over child sex allegations
[Off The Post]

Fergie dismisses the ‘Tevez could sign for free‘ theory
[The Telegraph]

Video: Someone needs some anger management
[Dirty Tackle]

The official World Cup 2010 song will be really good
[Pies]

Rafa is trying to find Jesus. Spanish attacking midfielder Jesus Fernandez, that is
[The Mirror]

WAG Danielle Lloyd makes her zillionth appearance in Nuts
[On205th]

Also appearing on a computer near you…

Nike have finally designed a shoe specifically for Manchester City fans
[Machochip]

Video: Watch out! The Olympics are a trap!
[WithLeather]

Mercedes have decided to shift their prestigious reputation by making Wayne Rooney an ambassador
[The Daily Fascist Mail]

Are Jenson Button and Destiny’s Child Kelly Rowland getting’ it on?
[Grid Crasher]

Nine commentary clichés we could do without
[EPL Talk]

Arsene Wenger wants everybody to stop booing Emmanuel Adebayor
[Bild]

Is Michael Phelps the man to turn Lindsay Lohan away from her lesbian phase?
[Deadspin]

Berbs is worried that Fergie is in love with someone else
[Football 365]

Midfielder Kapo displays exemplary generosity

Premier League stars aren’t usually known for their generosity, but Birmingham’s Olivier Kapo has just become an exception to that rule. Humbled by the thought of visiting Blackpool et al next season, the midfielder decided to give his £30k Mercedes to 17-year-old James McPike, the lad who has been cleaning his boots throughout 2007/08.

Trainees in his position can usually expect some muttered contempt, or at best an autograph by way of thanks at the end of the year, but McPike will now be enjoying a motor far too powerful for his youthful driving capabilities.

When the stunned lad (pictured above, delighted by the news)

Derby “saviour” narrowly avoids a fine for parading excessively showy motor

As a team desperately attempting to claw back some dignity from this season by at least finishing with points in double figures, times are hard at Derby County. Things weren’t helped this week when their preening new midfielder Robbie Savage rolled up to training in his brand new £160k Mercedes. Players and staff who face cutbacks and unemployment in the coming months as Derby return to a Championship budget failed to gasp in wonder at Savage’s good fortune.
When Sunderland were relegated in 2003, Michael Gray was stripped of two weeks’ wages and the captaincy after showing up to training in a Ferrari. Surprisingly, Savage, who also owns a Bentley, a Range Rover and a Lamborghini, has escaped criticism for his grotesque, loads-a-money gesture