The Spoiler

Newcastle fans are launching a campaign to buy-out the club


Supporters take matters into their own hands…

stjamespark.jpg

The recent furore over St. James Park’s naming rights was clearly the last of many straws - a group of Newcastle United fans have started appeals to banks and local businesses, asking for help in raising enough funds to launch a takeover bid for the club. The Newcastle United Supporters Trust (NUST) claim to have roped in ‘big names in the business and financial world’ to help meet Mike Ashley’s £80m price tag:

We have emailed over 40,000 supporters to ask them if and how they want to buy into the campaign to lead a city-wide bid to buy back the club.

The idea is based on fans investing in the club through a number of financial opportunities which will be held by a local solicitor in an escrow account to demonstrate to Ashley that the fans have proof of funds.

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Posted: November 10th, 2009 by Richard Gilzene

Freddie Shepherd: Ashley is ruining Newcastle United


Pot. Kettle. Black

The futures bright, the futures yellow

“I suppose nothing surprises me about the current regime, so news they are ready to sell the naming rights isn’t exactly a shock. Whatever next? Why don’t they just go the whole hog and change the name of the club itself? Fans will be horrified, angry and upset about this. They’ve had to put up with a lot in recent months, but this is just another blow.”

Indeed, but who to blame? Well, on selling his shares in Newcastle two years ago to err…. Mike Ashley, Shepherd commented:

“The board believes Mike Ashley will be an excellent custodian of Newcastle United’s heritage and will provide the best possible opportunity for the club to flourish in the future, to the benefit of the company and its fans.”

How’s the whole heritage preservation thing going then Freddie?

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Posted: October 29th, 2009 by Eliot Pollak

Is Mike Ashley deliberately sabotaging Newcastle United?


Scorched Earth football style

Thumbs up folks

The last time Newcastle United made permanent a caretaker manager’s stint, Glenn Roeder was the beneficiary, as he managed to wangle an extra year of shuffling nervously along the touchline. He signed Antoine Sibierski and Olivier Bernard, finished 13th in the table and contrived to lose 5-1 at home to Birmingham City in the FA Cup. What’s more, demonstrations against the Shepherd regime throughout the season, ironically served to usher in the new chairman.

Nevertheless, the past must be a foreign country to Mike Ashley, as he has rewarded caretaker Chris Hughton with an 18 month deal, for unconvincingly managing to keep the best squad of players at the top of their division by a single point.

Yet as anyone who has visited some of his sport shops will know, Ashley isn’t one to leave in tact any fragment of class. Hence his subsequent announcement that naming rights for SJP (not Sarah Jessica Parker - pay attention) are up for grabs. Leave your suggestions below Mackems…

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Posted: October 28th, 2009 by Eliot Pollak

Mike Ashley’s Sports Direct to be investigated by the Serious Fraud Office


More great news for Newcastle’s much-loved owner

Mike Ashley

Youngsters who hang about at bus stops waiting to earn an ASBO will be devastated to learn that their clothing purveyors of choice - JJB Sports and Sports Direct - are to be investigated by the Serious Fraud Office for price fixing and fraud.

Dave Whelan’s former company and Mike Ashley’s current profit-zapping outfit have been the subject of a secret investigation by the Office of Fair Trading since January. The Guardian’s business eggheads report:

JJB this morning told shareholders that it had sparked the probe with an approach to the OFT just 10 days after the company suspended its former chief executive, Chris Ronnie. It claims to have negotiated immunity in exchange for whistle-blowing co-operation.

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Posted: September 10th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Aston Villa close in on Richard Dunne, bad news for Newcastle and good news for WAG fans


Also appearing on a computer near you…

Wayne Rooney does his best Travis Bickle

Joleon Lescott is ‘over the moon’ with his new £94,000-a-week pay packet. Wouldn’t you be?
[The Guardian]

Richard Dunne to Aston Villa
[The Telegraph]

Great news Newcastle - you’re stuck with Mike Ashley for at least another season!
[The Mirror]

How not to report the news
[College Humor]

The Ultimate WAG XI
[The Big Lead]

Spoiler promotion: Fancy a free punt? Of course you do, silly billy! Check out hundreds of pounds worth of free football bets at
OLBG Sports

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Posted: August 26th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Vote: Will Newcastle get promoted back into the Premier League next season?


Can the North East side bounce back from utter rubbishness?

“It’s disappointing and embarrassing,” said Newcastle caretaker manager Chris Hughton following Newcastle Utd’s humiliating defeat at the hands of Leyton Orient on Saturday.

Around 1,500 Geordies made the long journey to Brisbane Road (and Derek Llambias made the relatively short journey from his Essex country pile), where they witnessed their beloved side lose to a League One side in highly lethargic fashion. A poor result considering the fact that the team was extremely similar to the one that played in the Premiership last season.

Despite getting knocked for six on Saturday, most bookies are putting Newcastle as favourites to win the Championship next season. On the basis of this kind of performance, however, Leyton Orient fans can probably look forward to taking six points from Mike Ashley’s woeful bunch in League One in 2010/11.

So, will Newcastle make it back to the promised land, or are they about to start a lengthy period in the Football League wilderness? Let us know your thoughts below…

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Posted: July 27th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

More bad news for Newcastle


Sports Direct profits fall a whopping 91 per cent

Some fine Sports Direct merchandise

It certainly seems to be raining shit on Newcastle at the moment. Not only do they prepare themselves for the forthcoming Championship season with an uncertain management team, a restless squad and a dreadful away strip, but owner Mike Ashley has taken a fiscal pounding thanks to his underperforming sportswear chain.

Sports Direct, the company in which the rotund businessman owns a 71 per cent share, has suffered a 91 per cent fall in pre-tax profits. Earnings fell from £118.9m to £10.7m this year, even though revenues topped £1bn and sales were up 5.1 per cent.

The huge downturn is a result of the collapse of Icelandic bank Kaupthing Singer & Friedlander (KSF) - the very same organisation that ruined former West Ham owner Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson. The collapse caused the sports retailer to write-off a staggering £53.1 million of shares, which is an awful lot of hoodies and baseball caps.

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Posted: July 16th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Newcastle to bring their disastrous season to the stage


Magpies to tread the boards in honour of forgettable year

You Really Couldn’t Make It Up

Football fans aren’t known for their love of theatre, but that could be about to change in the north east.

Two Newcastle season ticket holders are intending to depress cultured Magpies fans with You Really Couldn’t Make It Up, the stage interpretation of the Toon Army’s epic failures on and off the field in 2008/09, told through the ”witty, heartfelt banter of four ordinary fans coming to terms with life after relegation”.

NUFC.com reports:

Following a sold-out run there earlier this year, Newcastle’s Live Theatre hosts an updated version of “You Couldn’t Make It Up” starting this week.

Penned by father and son team Michael and Tom Chaplin (both season ticket holders at SJP) [Sarah Jessica Parker? - Ed.], “You Really Couldn’t Make It Up” recounts the story of Newcastle’s season from hell through the eyes of four fans.

Actors play the parts of Alan Shearer, Kevin Keegan and Mike Ashley.

Why are they getting actors to play the parts of Shearer, Keegan and Ashley, when they could probably get the real thing? It’s not as if any of them will be doing anything in the foreseeable future…

[Roll up! Roll up! Get your tickets here]

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Posted: June 24th, 2009 by Ryan Bailey