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Naughty midfielder could face prison after

This month’s Jermaine Pennant Award for Idiotic Driving goes to Mikel John Obi/ John Obi Mikel/ John Mikel Obi etc, who was arrested and banged up for drink driving in the early hours of Saturday morning:

SOCCER star John Obi Mikel was busted for drink-driving at 5.30am - just hours before Chelsea’s FA Cup match.

Mikel, 21, was pulled over by cops who spotted him driving his Range Rover “erratically” outside the club’s ground on Saturday.

The £40,000-a-week midfielder was given a breath test and put in a police cell. He had been charged and bailed by the time Chelsea beat Ipswich 3-1.

According to The Sun, the Nigerian had already been told he would not feature in Saturday’s FA Cup clash, but that’s hardly an excuse for turning up to work in the morning smelling like Robert Downey Jr.

After failing a breath test, most normal citizens the prospect of a maximum prison sentence of six months and a fine of up to £5,000. As a famous footballer with a terrifying team of lawyers, however, Mikel can look forward to a few days in the can (if that), a light slap on the wrist and a fine that he could probably scrape together with change found underneath his couch cushions.

Spoiler bonus: Mikel was driving a Range Rover Sport, the Premier League’s automobile of choice. See the top ten footballer’s cars here.

Mikel John Obi Mikel finally experiences rite of passage

The Jewish people have Bar Mitzvahs, Arsenal have the Carling Cup, and the children of Liverpool have their first purloined hubcap. Indeed, every culture has its own rite of passage into manhood, and now it has been revealed that Chelsea FC is no exception. John Obi Mikel (or Mikel John Obi or John Mikel Obi, depending on your inclination) recently discovered that in order become a grown up, Sir John Terry must give his blessing:

“I made a speech before a game at Middlesbrough in the dressing room, and after I had finished, John Terry said, ‘Now you are a man’.

If people like John Terry and Frank Lampard say I am now a man, I am a man.”

There must have been a bizarre tribal atmosphere in the dressing room for this scenario to happen. Let’s hope Terry insisted the squad listened to this song after making his announcement…

[Full Mikel interview: The Telegraph]