LA ladies spaff £9,000 to see The Latics get beaten
*Actual cheerleaders involved in this story were not this hot or drunk
After getting chatted up by meeting some Oldham Athletic players while on holiday in the Cayman Islands this summer, Californian cheerleaders Sara Mathew and Amber Allen were inspired to see the Latics play.
After slaying the dragon named common sense, the 23-year-olds decided to Fly 11,000 miles from the glamorous surroundings of Beverly Hills to the slightly-less-glamorous surroundings of Greater Manchester. They made a pilgrimage to a rain-sodden Boundary Park before heading down to Bermondsey, with tickets to see last month’s League One clash with Millwall.
Oldham lost the match 2-0, but the girls were clearly undeterred by the result and the £9,000 price tag. Sara said:
“Being welcomed into the community of Oldham fans was like being part of a family we’ve never had.”
The girls are planning to return in December, and as a thank you to their impressive commitment. Oldham have promised to “roll out the red carpet” upon their return.
[Spotted in The Sun, who thoughtfully included a diagram showing the distance between America and England]
Granted, the scenes in East London last night were abhorrent and completely unwelcome in the game, but fans of both clubs who were present at Upton Park tell The Spoiler that they are fairly surprised by the over-the-top reaction and blanket coverage from the media*. Leading the hyperbolic pack are The Daily Mail, who temporarily cast aside stories about school fees, immigrants and fluffy kittens to print this gem:
West Ham could be thrown from the tournament after this, the ground could be closed.
No, Martin Samuel, the ground will not be closed and West Ham will not be thrown out of the Carling Cup. As a measure of our certainty, if either of those things happen, The Spoiler will actually go through the humiliating process of paying for a copy of your newspaper.
*We are aware that we have sort-of contributed to this melee, but hypercriticism is our bag, baby!
West Ham 3/ Millwall 1 (AET)
The Spoiler can’t help but feel sorry for genuine West Ham and Millwall fans this morning, whose clubs will once again be tarred by the brush of vile thugs who have absolutely no interest in the beautiful game. Several pitch invasions, two stabbings and anarchic rioting made the Carling Cup tie look like something from the 1970s/ present day South America, and not a country mounting a serious World Cup 2018 bid.
Aside from the chaos, a pat on the back is due for Jack Collison, who played in spite of the tragic accident that claimed his father on the way to Sunday’s match at Spurs.
Check out the Sky News report on the troubled game after the jump…
Darren Deadman accidentally proclaims admiration for Neil Harris
It’s amazing that most Millwall fans are able to walk on account of the huge chip they carry on their collective shoulders, but the club with the mantra “No one likes us and we don’t care” appear to have an admirer in the form of referee Darren Deadman.
The official finds himself in hot water with the Football League following his conduct in Millwall’s goalless clash with Carlisle at The New Den two weekends ago. Carlisle player-manager Graham Kavanagh accuses Deadman of exclaiming “Get in, Harris” when cancer surviving striker and Lions hero Neil Harris was closing in on goal.
Kavanagh has since spoken about his outrage concerning the blatant lack of impartiality:
“I regarded that as being out of order and I confronted the ref. At first he ignored me, then he said he hadn’t said anything.”
“Then, 10 minutes later, he changed his story and said the reason he had said it was because he had played an advantage and it had led to a scoring opportunity, which reflected well on him as a referee.
“I told him he is supposed to be a referee, not a fan or a player, and the outcome of a chance shouldn’t affect his emotions. I have been involved in the game for 20 years and never experienced anything like it. I was disgusted.”
The Football League have said they are investigating the incident, which means it won’t be too long until we see some hilarious ‘Deadman Walking’ headlines in the tabloids.
Model and moped enthusiast Zabeena Harris has reportedly dumped perennially injured Manchester Utd star Owen Hargreaves in favour of Millwall’s Chris Hackett. Apparently, the split isn’t borne out of a desire to spend more time in Bermondsey, but because Hargreaves recently enjoyed “a secret date with a former sweetheart.”
After a bit of detective work, The Spoiler believes the former sweetheart is likely to have been ex-fiancée Janelle Khouri, the lovely lady with whom the midfielder lived when he was rockin’g some fierce Michael Ballack-style curtains at Bayern Munich.
It all goes wrong when you exit Old Trafford, just ask these guys
Manchester United chief executive David Gill has arrogantly suggested that Carlos Tevez’s career will go downhill if he walks away from Old Trafford.
He said: ”The game is littered with players who have left us, for whatever reason, who say after Manchester United it is downhill. Hopefully they get the right advice, they understand that and make the right decision.”
However, The Spoiler instantly thought of two courageous souls who somehow bounced back from the supposedly indescribable pain of leaving. Diego Forlan was the top La Liga scorer in 2004-05 and has this season scored a ridiculous
Another claret-and-blue team break Sheffield United’s hearts
Sheffield United chairman Kevin McCabe laughably claimed before the Championship play-off final that they would be a top-half Premier League side now were it not for only picking up 38 points in 2006-07 Carlos Tevez.
However, Burnley were the team who showed top-flight quality at Wembley and deservedly won with a brilliant 13th minute goal by Wade Elliott. Having beaten Fulham, Arsenal, Chelsea, Tottenham and West Brom this season and seen Sunderland and Hull stay up despite being dreadful, Owen Coyle should be confident that the Clarets can survive their first Premier League campaign.
Kevin Blackwell, as you would expect of a former assistant of Neil Warnock, struggled to be gracious in defeat and insinuated that Mike Dean’s performance
Stamford bridge to host a home defeat before November
Remember February 15th 2004? [Actually, it was February 21st. Obviously we don’t remember it too well - Ed.] On that day, Dennis Wise’s Millwall were months away from an FA Cup Final and England had qualified safely for the summer’s European Championship. In the Premiership, Arsenal beat Claudio Ranieri’s Chelsea 2-1 at Stamford Bridge, and brought themselves a step closer to becoming unbeaten champions. This was Chelsea’s last domestic home loss in 90 minutes.
Months later, Jose Mourinho swept into West London and seduced fans with his irresistible charm and boring football, and in three years his only home losses came to Barcelona in the Champions League and, more embarrassingly, Charlton in a League Cup penalty shootout.
Avram Grant arrived with a lot less gusto last season but even he, considered by most Chelsea fans as a Boris Johnson-esque bumbling clown, kept the unbeaten run alive.
But the amazing run started to become a strain, as highlighted in struggles against Aston Villa and Arsenal, and while it was unthinkable Chelsea would lose a home league game under Mourinho, it became an imminent threat under The Toad.
Considering Chelsea’s first five home opponents next season, Luiz Felipe Scolari will have to perform remarkably well to see Chelsea out of October with the home record intact.
First up is Portsmouth, who will no doubt be buoyed
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