The Spoiler

Tottenham poach Arsenal transfer target, Keane deal nears completion


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Apparently, soulless stolen franchise clubs aren’t that hot on throw-ins
[Off The Post]

John Terry interviewed by a five-year-old boy
[The Guardian]

David Beckham has been put on Milan’s UEFA Cup list
[The Independent]

Andrei Arshavin may sign for Spurs instead
[The Metro]

Michael Phelps thinks he’s at university
[Deadspin]

Robbie Keane to Tottenham is a “done deal”
[Daily Mail]

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Posted: February 2nd, 2009 by Ryan Bailey

Video: Tore Andre Flo on Strcictly Come Dancing


It’s the samba, but more rubbish than you’ve ever seen it before!

After retiring from football in March, lanky Norwegian Tore Andre Flo made a triumphant comeback with Franchise FC last week. Before linking up with Roberto Di Matteo in the land of concrete cows and stolen football teams, Flo put in a slightly cringe-worthy appearance on Norway’s version of Strictly Come Dancing.

The football kit is a rather unsubtle way of revealing his identity to Norwegians - it’s the equivalent of making Austin Healey dance around a rugby ball or Lisa Snowdon performing in an “I had sex with George Clooney” T-shirt.

[The Guardian]

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Posted: December 12th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

The correct way to motivate a team, by AFC Wimbledon


Blue Square South side get the sports psychologist in

AFC Wimbeldon knock on wood

The Danes may use porno to motivate their side, but here in Blighty, we’re more partial to a spot of good ol’ fashioned karate to rile things up. AFC Wimbledon’s reserves, led by WFC legend Marcus Gayle, recently pumped themselves up by punching bits of wood.

Presumably, it also doubles up as preparation for any future meetings with Franchise FC MK Dons…

[Big British Castle]

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Posted: November 21st, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Spanish club try to poach Dimitar Berbatov from under Fergie’s nose


Today’s gossip, rumours and damned lies

Dimitar Berbatov

Barcelona are hoping to become the second Spanish club to ruin Manchester Utd’s summer by poaching stroppy Spurs star Dimitar Berbatov. He would be expected to fill the huge void left by Ronaldinho, not to mention Uzbekistan-bound Samuel Eto’o. Manchester Utd are still favourites to land the Bulgarian, but they appear to have made one more enemy on the Iberian peninsula.

Emmanuel Adebayor to AC Milan
The Italians are favourites to sign the greedy poor, underpaid striker after agent Vincenzo Morabito revealed that Arsenal have drastically lowered their valuation. Adebayor has been left out of the squad for their traditional pre-season friendly with Barnet, who he scored against last year.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter:
Wenger is planning for an Adebayor-less future

Robbie Keane to Liverpool

Rafa Benitez has decided he won’t let Steven Gerrard bully him into buying his best mate anymore and he is instead going to give in to Tottenham’s demands and make Robbie Keane their biggest signing this summer.

The Spoiler Truth-o-meter:
Ideally they’ll still want both

Pascal Chimbonda to Newcastle or Everton

The Sun reports that the two clubs are battling

Read more

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Posted: July 17th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Terrible football haircuts, effeminate tennis and British Grand Prix facts & figures


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Wuss Tennis Players

Lion in Oil
discover the least manly way to deal with a serve

Kimi Raikkonen is the current favourite to win this weekend’s British Grand Prix
[chickendinner]

Spaniards shun Erotic Film festival to watch the football
[Machochip]

Video: This car has pretty powerful brakes
[Grid Crasher]

The worst haircuts in football history
[Zoo Today]

Unpopular MK Dons fear bullying from League One’s ‘bigger boys’
[The Gaffer]

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Posted: June 30th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Paul Ince tries to bring history to Franchise FC


Manager of abhorred soulless business misses the point

“We have finally created some history for this club which is what we get rammed down our throats every time we play away from home and this is the start of putting this club on the map.”

Paul Ince forgets that MK Dons’ position on the map is the very reason other clubs don’t like them 

[The Guardian Fiver]

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Posted: April 1st, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

MK Dons to reclaim top spot


The best sports on the telebox tonight

Recommended viewing

Paul Ince is doing a great job at the helm of Franchise FC, who will look to take back the top place in League Two from Peterborough tonight. The concrete cow lovers are marginal favourites to win, but I think a draw at 13/5 represents much better value.

League Two
Chesterfield/ Milton Keynes Dons (Sky Sports 1, 7.45pm)

Blue Square Premier
York City/ Exeter City (Setanta Sports 1, 7.45pm)

Setanta Sports Cup
Linfield/ Derry City (Setanta Ireland, 8.05pm)

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Posted: March 10th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey

Man City looking to win six out of seven against Everton


The best sports on the telebox tonight

Recommended viewing

Sven’s Manchester City have won five out of their last six home games against Everton, and are marginal favourites to beat the Mersey Blues tonight (City at 6/4, Everton at 21/10).

For a game that will be a little easier to call, check out the Football League Trophy Southern Final second leg. MK Dons, aka ‘Franchise FC’, aka ‘everything that is wrong with the game today’ are still riding high at the top of League Two, and are 9/5 favourites to topple Swansea tonight.

Premier League
Manchester City/ Everton (Setanta Sports 1, 8pm) - betting preview here

Johnstone’s Paint Trophy Southern Final Second Leg
MK Dons/ Swansea City (Sky Sports 1, 7.30pm) - bet here

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Posted: February 25th, 2008 by Ryan Bailey