Top flight grounds will soon be emptier than Kerry Katona’s head

According to a poll in this morning’s Sun newspaper, an incredible 43 per cent of West Ham fans are planning to boycott their beloved club in 2008/09, with many arguing that they didn’t receive very good value for money last year. Upton Park has yet to sell out any of its three home games this season, and away tickets for this weekend are still available, something that would have been unheard of last season.

The reason for this lack of support isn’t so much a protest at the club (although in some cases it is), but a reflection of the hard times brought on by the credit crunch. According to a Virgin Money poll, the average cost of watching a game is now £106.21 when tickets, transport and food are taken into account. To put that in perspective for our American readers, that’s about $63,000, and for those in Middlesbrough, that’s a four bed semi.

On average, Premier League clubs have increased their prices by fourteen per cent this season, a necessary move when you consider Frank Lampard is paid approximately £1.04 per second (based on a 40 hour week). Such an increase

British transfer record smashed in Man City coup

Over the weekend Brazilian Man-O’-Sex Robinho held his own press conference to tell us all how his ‘head is in Chelsea‘, yet last night night he became the first purchase of that new Arabian team in Manchester. Following the £32.5m record transfer, Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon revealed the slightly unstable nature of his former employee:

“We decided that the best thing was for him to leave. He has an emotional problem that is worse than he thought. Every time I have spoken to him he has cried.”

To paint a more detailed picture of Robinho’s highly professional acumen, Calderon confirmed that the 24-year-old winger/ second striker cares more for the good paper than

The Spoiler considers the decline in big money transfer activity

The credit crunch is affecting everyone in the UK at the moment: bread now costs more than a Ford Fiesta did ten years ago, house prices in the north have fallen below £25 for a two bed semi, and pretty soon, Cristiano Ronaldo will start having to using cheaper prostitutes just to get by.

The transfer rumours thrown around each day seem to assume that the Premier League’s elite are not affected by the global financial problems, but the cost of obtaining loans has clearly stalled the summer transfer market.

Consider the list below, which details each Premier League club’s biggest summer signing last year and the date on which they occurred:

Eduardo to Arsenal - July 3
Reo Coker to Villa - July 5
Muamba to Birmingham - May 11
Santa Cruz to Blackburn - July 28
Samuel to Bolton - July 1
Malouda to Chelsea - July 9
Earnshaw to Derby - June 29
Yakubu to Everton - August 29
Kamara to Fulham - July 9
Torres to Liverpool - July 3
Elano to Man City - August 2

The pros who place wages above loyalty and professional conduct

At a time when the business around the world are universally tightening their belt buckles amid fears of an imminent recession, there remains a breed of character in the beautiful game who believe they are owed a living, and clubs should feel blessed to pay them top dollar for their services.

In no particular order, here’s ten people in football who are more concerned about putting another Maserati on the driveway than advancing the prospects of their club…

Emanuel Adebayor
It’s possible that Adebayor feels unappreciated by Arsenal fans, who prefer to whine about his misses against Liverpool and Man United rather than his 30 goals. Yet the way he pledged to stay at Arsenal, only to U-turn hours later was bold behaviour for a player who has given his club to just one great season and no trophies.

Frank Lampard
Princess Frank is always eager to show his love for Chelsea by kissing his badge at every opportunity, but it seems there are limits to his affection. Despite turning 30 recently, Lampard believes that a four-year deal at £140,000-a-week is unreasonable; only a five-year £150,000-a-week deal will suffice. Otherwise, he will be kissing Inter Milan’s badge/ Jose’s lips in the very near future.

Cristiano Ronaldo
Despite signing a five-year deal for £120,000-a-week, making him United’s highest-paid player ever, just over a year ago, Ronaldo believes it would be akin to slave labour to keep him there any longer. Rumours he would be offered a stupendous £200,000-a-week and the chance to sit on Sepp Blatter’s knee have clearly influenced him.

Robinho
The poor Brazilian

French fans desperate to bring their Drog back home

Last week, we told you how Marseille fans were clubbing together their pennies in an attempt to bring Didier Drogba back to the club. By Friday, they had managed to raise a paltry €5,000 (£4,000), but this website has really helped Les Marseillais dig deep over the weekend. At the time of writing, just under 20,000 fans from the south coast have raised €1,385,956 (£1,100,000), an average donation of around £50 per person, on the site whose slogan reads ‘All together, we can do it’.

This is a very impressive sum, but there are two problems: firstly, Drogba’s transfer fee is said to be around £24,000,000. Even if every one of Marseille’s regular 60,000 crowd gave £50, they would fall around £5,000,000 short.

Secondly, the Ivory Coast striker is eyeing up a move to one of the Italian big boys, and a move back to Marseille would be a rather large step backwards.

Administrative body dishing out cash for no particular reason

In a move that will only aid the top English clubs in their quest to widen the gap between themselves and the rest of the league, UEFA have decided to compensate teams for the use of their players in Euro 2008:

The bill comes to around £32million, with UEFA paying roughly £3,200 per player for every day they are involved in the event.

Yes, you read that correctly, Europe’s footballing body will pay £3,200 for the privilege of keeping players match fit, instead of letting them go and guzzle cocktails in the sun for a few weeks. This means cash-strapped Liverpool will bag around £280,000 from the tournament, while Arsenal stand to make £90,000 from allowing Senderos and Dijourou to serve their country.

Even more ridiculously, the compensation will be shared with any clubs who have employed the players over the last two years, meaning Atletico Madrid will make a tidy packet from Fernando Torres’

Aston Villa to help out children’s hospice

A huge pat on the back is due for Randy Lerner and co for defying the Premiership trend to ‘maximise revenues’. Instead of renewing their shirt sponsorship deal with a large corporation, the West Midlands club have taken a leaf from Barcelona’s book by giving their shirt sponsorship deal to a charity.

Villa have forsaken up a potential £2million deal in order to help out the Acorns children’s hospice, in a move that has made Martin O’Neill ‘very proud’. Awww.

Financial cynics shouldn’t be too concerned by this philanthropic turn, as the constantly inflating Gareth Barry sale price (now at around £15million) and the 7.5 per cent hike in season ticket prices should cover the opportunity cost.

Chief Exec caught being proactive!

Note to all Premier League chief execs - this is how to keep your people happy.

Perhaps Arsenal could get some kind of cash machine installed, instead of relying on Wenger’s cobwebbed purse?

Annual Deloitte report reveals fiscal health of the Prem

Yesterday, the number crunchers at Deloitte released their annual report regarding the games’ finances in the 2006/07 season. The reams of data tell us that Premier League wages have now topped the £1billion mark, with each Premiership side dishing out an average of £48.5m to their staff (with Watford’s £17.7m at the bottom of the scale, and Chelsea’s staggering £132m at the top).

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While revenues have never been higher (The Premier League brought in €2273million in 2006/07, almost twice as much as the closest financial competitor, The Bundesliga), many clubs are spending far more than they are generating. Of all the teams in the top two flights, Derby’s situation was most troubling, as their wages/turnover ratio stood at 125 per cent. That means for every £100million that came into the club (and that’s just turnover, not profit), they were spending £125million on keeping the team in place. Of course, this figure is skewed by the performance-related bonuses given to Rams players for winning promotion, but it represents part of a trend that Deloitte partner Dan Jones believes will ‘lead to a continuing flow of insolvency cases’.

The financial housekeeping in Derbyshire leads a lot to be desired, but bank mangers in north London are considerably less aggravated. The famed wage structure at Arsenal puts them in a healthy third place in the league of wages/ turnover ratios (with 50 per cent), but based on this criteria, Spurs’ 42 per makes their structure the most economically sustainable in the top two flights.

Basketball megastar drops it like it’s hot

Basketball legend Shaquille O’Neal is currently going through a messy divorce with wife Shaunie, on account that she was “secretive about her assets … particularly with respect to certain properties owned or titled in either [her] name alone or in other entities.” Accordingly, the court has been given documents detailing all money, funds, stocks, bonds, and other securities held between the couple.

The paperwork, according to Sports by Brooks, showed that Shaq is currently raking in $2million a month from his Miami Heat contract and various sponsorship deals. And get ready to catch that jaw as it