And so the football season comes to a dramatic halt, with very dodgy happenings over in Boro - something stinks, and for once it isn’t Jermain Defoe’s finger. Either way, with the top and bottom sorted, the players thought it necessary to go out on the razzle-dazzle. Fashionable Movida was the place to be.

Of course, as expected, Jermain Defoe was his usual slippery self, persuading a cheerful brunette that she should just get in the car and return with him to his dreamy bachelor pad - there, he would no doubt pop on some light Jazz music, spark up a joss-stick, then make some seriously oily love to her until the sun rose, or his alarm clock went off (whichever came first). Lots of that is assumption, but probably happened.

Danielle Lloyd’s continuing quest to let her hair down and enjoy herself led her back to London’s Movida nightclub for some cocktails and a good think last night.

And, of course, it wasn’t long before the potential suitors were sniffing around like dogs at a cat show.

Getting married AND releasing a DVD about fitness? Wow

While the rest of us gorged on cooked meat and strong European lager over the festive season, one of the nation’s many racist glamour models was keeping herself very busy indeed.

Danielle Lloyd - her who has gone almost a full year without telling Shilpa Shetty to “fuck off home” - was spotted