French prankster adds ‘acting’ to his eclectic CV

Suddenly, it is clear why Franck Ribery has been ignoring the advances of Chelsea and Manchester Utd this summer - he’s been far too busy starring in pop music videos.

Francky boy features in the video for DJ Kore’s ‘Meme pas fatigue’ (’Not even tired’) as the star player on a pitch that is so dusty it could have been played inside a vacuum cleaner.

[Dirty Tackle]

Andy Cole isn’t the only footballer to attempt to crack the charts

By the year 2000, Youri Djorkaeff had won the Cup Winners’ Cup, the UEFA Cup, the World Cup and the European Championships. Those who believed the Frenchman had achieved all of his career objectives, however, were due for a surprise. A sexy surprise.

Almost nine years ago, Youri combined his passions for rapping and sleeveless garments in his dance anthem ‘Vivre dans ta lumière’ (’living in your light’). Somehow, it failed to set the French music scene alight, perphaps proving that the world wasn’t ready for his fresh moves, eyes-closed-crooning and fierce style.

Thanks to our friends at The Offside Rules for showing us the light

Pseudo-WAG launches pseudo-pop career

As a one-time conquest of Middlesbrough’s Seb Hines, Chanelle Hayes‘ relationship with the footballing world is almost as tenuous as her relationship with the music industry. Via the manipulation of double tracking, a whole heap of reverb and various other studio trickery, Chanelle has recently launched a pop career. The song is hideously derivative and uninspired, but her decision to wear lingerie throughout this generic mess is her saving grace.

Click the little picture of Chanelle in her brassiere to see her contribution to the collapse of western civilisation. Then check out Cheryl Cole’s latest effort to see which you hate more.

Chelsea love rat given the heave via the medium of jewellery

If you watched the recent ITV2 series The Passions of Girls Aloud, you will have seen scorned WAG Cheryl Cole training to street dance for an appearance in a new video for Black Eyed Peas goon Will.I.Am.

The resulting song (rather fittingly entitled ‘Heartbreaker’) was released today. As may be expected from the man who wrote ‘My Humps’, it’s rubbish, and Cheryl only actually dances for about three seconds. But fortunately, she looks ’super hawt’, and her necklace displays a message that will bring joy to the nation: