The big news sloshing around the enormous snazzy Spoiler offices this Friday morning is that back in the days before Carlos Queiroz became the coach at Manchester United, Ferguson and his honchos were interested in getting Martin Jol on board. He ticked all the right boxes, and was this close to getting the job, until Ferguson decided that he was just too bloody fat!

The Scot was adamant that his players wouldn’t be able to take a fat man seriously, and that he would ultimately

Ex-WAG gets over Jermain Defoe the best way she knows how

In case you don’t know the wretched story, Jermain Defoe was happily dating model Charlotte Meares, and they had planned a lavish wedding, which included a ‘five foot ice sculpture of their interlocked initials’. This classy affair, however, was put to an end by hate monger Danielle Lloyd, who