Ruud van Nistelrooy, Jaap Stam and Roy Keane all have the same two things in common. All three were indispensable Man Utd players who were very much dispensed of the moment they crossed Sir Alex Ferguson.
The Spoiler can only assume Utd winger Nani, who is currently about as indispensable as a used, porous condom, was blissfully unaware of these events ever having happened, since he’s made the extremely stupid move of criticising Fergie in the tabloid press.
“It is clear the 23-year-old has reached the end of his tether,” crows The Sun, while rubbing their hands at the carnage about to unfold. “In a no-holds barred interview, Nani reveals how:”
He has felt the withering force of Fergie’s infamous hairdryer rage.
He is frustrated at being omitted from big-game starting line-ups.
He believes promises have not been kept.
Three grievances, all of which can be answered with one simple explanation: “It’s because you’re s**t.”
Japan absolutely malleted Togo last night, beating the 2006 World Cup finalists 5-0. Their second of the match was scored by Shinji Okazaka, one of the rising stars of Japanese football, with a cute back-heel.
Nani set Portugal on their way against Malta, with a sharp turn and volley that calmed the nerves of the home side.
Real Madrid star still looks out for previous employer
Despite creating the impression that he couldn’t wait to get away from smelly rainy Manchester, Cristiano Ronaldo has admitted that he stilllooks out for the results of his old team now he is based in equally-smelly-but-less-rainy Madrid. The Mirror quotes:
“Every time I can I try to watch United’s games on television.
“I still like to know what’s happening at Old Trafford. And despite now being at Real, I’m always happy when I know when United have won.”
C-Ron also took the opportunity to wax lyrical about Nani, who he believes is destined to become one of the “best players in the world”:
“I’ve also seen that Nani is playing much more than he was last season when I was there. That’s good for him and he will benefit from that.
Former Newcastle hitman joins a list of United legends
Those who expected Michael Owen’s new Manchester Utd squad number to be in the high double digits were given a shock yesterday, as the Fit & Healthy Charismatic striker was rewarded with the highly coveted No7 squad number.
Yes, despite admitting that he “didn’t exactly set the world alight in the last year or so” in his first official Utd press conference, Owen will now sit beside George Best, Bryan Robson, Eric Cantona, David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo on the list of owners of the iconic shirt.
In many ways, the decision is a good one: it will give the 29-year-old striker a much-needed confidence boost, and a bloody good reason to keep himself off of the injury table. However, Alex Ferguson’s declaration of faith in the former England star is a double-edged sword, as it will almost certainly put a great deal of pressure on his shoulders. Some might even have the audacity to argue that a man who has scored once every 214 minutes in the past two seasons is not a strong candidate for such a hallowed garment.
So kids, is Owen worthy of the No7 shirt? Perhaps a winger like Nani or Valencia would be more suited to it? Maybe arguing the toss about squad numbers is futile as it has absolutely no bearing on performance? Let us know your thoughts below…
Our Spanish friends at AS have been speculating over the future of Atletico Madrid striker Sergio Agüero throughout the closed season, and they seem convinced he will end up in Manchester.
The Argentinean - whose lovemaking with Diego Maradona’s daughter has been so successful that she has borne his first son - was supposedly the subject of a €46m bid earlier this summer. The offer hit a stumbling block, however, when it was revealed that ‘Kun’ has a €60m buy-out clause written into his contract.
AS believe Alex Ferguson would like to offer Atletico Madrid €40m and Nani to satisfy the contractual stipulation. The Spaniards, however, would much prefer to have Dimitar Berbatov and €20m.
Man Utd stars are probably holding hands under the table too
Yesterday was Nani’s 24th birthday, so he and fellow hooker fivesome lover Cristiano Ronaldo celebrated the best way they knew how: a nice glass of white wine, a wonderfully delicate cake presented on a doily, and a single candle.
On Monday, a DVD celebrating Ryan Giggs’ illustrious 17-year career will be released, and in celebration a premiere of the film was held in Manchester. Carlos Tevez, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wes Brown, Rio Ferdinand, Anderson, Nani, Patrice Evra, Nemanja Vidic, Park Ji-Sung, Dimitar Berbatov, Owen Hargreaves, Jonny Evans, John O’Shea and Michael Carrick all walked the carpet rocking a snazzy jeans/ white shirt/ blazer combo in honour of the Welshman. Rio even augmented his outfit with a cravat, making him look dead sophisticated.
Celebrity fans Angus Deyton, Peter Hook and monkey man Ian Brown also turned out, but those reinforced crowd barriers were severly tested by the cream of Manchester’s acting talent, including True Red narrator Ralf Little, Will Mellor, Max Beesley and Corrie’s Kevin Webster.
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