Everyone agrees that Dennis Wise has done a super job as Executive Director of Football at Newcastle Utd, and one of his greatest achievements is the signing of extremely popular Spanish striker Francisco Jiménez Tejada, better known as Xisco.
Our friends at Kickette stumbled upon a site named Football Boners (we didn’t ask), where they discovered pictures of the 22-year-old having fun on the beach.
Check out more reasons why Xisco won’t be next on Danielle Lloyd’s hitlist after the jump…
Scary picture of the day: Violent criminal Joey Barton has not procreated (thank God), he’s just doing his bit at a Newcastle Utd charity event
[Kickette]
Manchester Utd vehemently deny the latest Ronaldo to Real Madrid gossip
[BBC]
Nicole Scherzinger gets sexy for Maxim magazine
[Grid Crasher]
Joe Kinnear’s Newcastle Utd currently soaring high above the relegation zone in sixteenth place, yet they are one of around ten teams who could easily find themselves in trouble. But will they? Visit our Newcastle relegation predictor, enter your result forecasts for the remainder of the season and see if they will survive!
Toon Army unhappy with controversial takeover plans
Geordies are outraged today by the news that the Bin Ladens are front runners in the race to take Newcastle United from Mike Ashley. The Saudi BinLadin Group, who turn over around £2.5billion annually through their construction work, have reportedly offered £300m for the club, and they plan to spend millions developing leisure and retail facilities around St James’ Park.
Osama was disowned by his family many years before 9/11, but the prospect of having an overweight recluse replaced by lots of men with big beards is a frightening one.
Ben Linton, a 27-year-old insurance broker from Gateshead said: “I saw Team America at the cinema and on DVD, so I know that terrorism is something I do not want my club associated with.”
Newcastle boss believes the traditional handshake is so passé
As Harry Enfield’s ‘Big Bob Joylove’ proved beyond reasonable doubt, nothing endears you to a rival, colleague or casual acquaintance quite like a good pat on the face.
Kevin Keegan is a strong advocate of palm-to-cheek affection, and has been avoiding the handshakes of players and managers up and down the country since his nineties prime.
Take a look at the inspirational gallery below and remember - why shake someone’s hand when you could invade their personal space?
Middlesbrough managed to pull themselves away from a relegation scrap at the right time, but they’ll have just enough rope to hang themselves next season if they bring Paul Robinson on board. Here’s today’s rumours from the north east and beyond:
Thierry Henry to Arsenal
While the BBC have shown us video of Henry himself saying the only Premier League club he would play for is Arsenal, The Sun chose to print a quote-free, substance-free story insisting he was going to Newcastle to be the new Alan Shearer. Bad timing, red top rumour monkeys.
Antonio Valencia to Liverpool
It must have been a nervy morning for Liverpool fans as they heard Rafa Benitez wanted to sign a Wigan player - “please don’t bring Heskey back” - luckily for them, Rafa is looking to sign his hundredth winger instead.
Aaron Lennon to Manchester City
City have never really got over the loss of Shaun Wright-Phillips to Chelsea’s reserve team, so now they plan to bring in the half-an-inch shorter replica.
Paul Robinson to Middlesbrough
Gareth Southgate has shown what he learnt when playing under Steve McLaren by choosing to replace his Champions League-bound keeper Mark Schwarzer with the seemingly Championship-bound
On February 1st, The Spoiler audaciously suggested Newcastle would be involved in a relegation battle. Despite statistical evidence, some of the more sensitive Geordies took great offense to the implication that they could finish in the bottom three, but now most are accepting King Kev will have very sweaty palms for the final nine games.
In addition to our original prophecy of doom, here’s a few more reasons why The Toon could be about to drop like Danielle Lloyd’s underwear:
» Newcastle still have the worst form in the league. In the last eight games, even perpetual strugglers Derby have amassed more points (three) than them (two).
» If all the teams transfer their form into their remaining games from the same number of proceeding games then Newcastle will go down. The league table would look like this:
The Magpies are slowly crumbling, but do you care?
Newcastle haven’t won a league game in over two months and their current form is the worst in the Premier League, save for relegation candidates Reading.
They are a popular club with a passionate and likable fanbase and an equally passionate and likable manager. So why does nobody appear to have any sympathy for them?
How do you feel about it all? Cast your vote and comment below.
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