English sides secure victories in Europe

Chelsea 1/ Porto 0
The Blues didn’t exactly carry themselves with the confidence that has allowed them to steamroll through Premiership opposition so far this season, but they claimed a vital three points against their Portuguese visitors thanks to an impressive finish from Nicolas Anelka. Porto’s Hulk tried his best to beat Petr Cech, but the tabloid headline writers were ultimately denied a hilarious pun.

Besiktas 0/ Manchester Utd 1
There were frayed tempers on and off the pitch over in Turkey: Wayne Rooney threw his boots down in fury when he was pulled off for a Fit & Healthy striker just after the hour mark, and appeared to share a few choice words with vitriolic home fans who had to be restrained by stewards. It probably won’t go down as a classic, but Paul Scholes did enough to secure an important away victory.

Spoiler bonus: Cristiano Ronaldo was firing on all cylinders in Zurich, bagging a confidence-boosting brace of free kicks. Check it out after the jump…

The stars who have enjoyed facing their previous employers

This weekend, a whole host of players faced their former employers, most notably Emmanuel Adebayor at Eastlands and Dimitar Berbatov at White Hart Lane. Face kicking and celebrating aside, the former put in a performance that truly represented his stunning talent (something which was somewhat of a rarity during his final months at Arsenal), while the latter moped around and fluffed numerous chances (prompting the chant “That’s why we sold you!” - a chorus only bettered by the  “You’re not signing any more!” that Chelsea received at Stoke).

With these acrimonious encounters in mind, Spoiler correspondent Liam Jarvis has selected his top five players who have enjoyed facing the teams that used to sign their puffed-up pay cheques…

William Gallas
The tantrum-prone Frenchman scored the winning header from a Cesc Fabregas corner to beat Chelsea 1-0 back in 2007. The goal ended a 3-year winless streak against their London rivals.

Alan Shearer
Alan Shearer marked his 300th club career goal in perfect fashion, a simple penalty against former side Blackburn in 2002.

“Great” striker praises his own selflessness

Since earning the Premier League Golden Boot in 2006/07, Didier Drogba has failed to ripple the net on as many occasions as Nicolas Anelka. One might put this down to the fact that he didn’t play as many games as his stroppy strike partner, but the Ivorian will have you believe its because he is so damn unselfish:

“I often sacrifice myself for the good of the team. I don’t look at my scoring statistics. Have you ever seen any other great strikers do as much defending as I do?”

Does Drogba defend quite as much as he is suggesting? Let us know your thoughts, Chelsea fans…

[Quote: The Telegraph]

… revealed in the fascinating trends and statistics below

The bookmakers seem to agree on the 15 leading contenders to be next season’s Premier League top-scorer. they are:

Fernando Torres, Didier Drogba, Nicolas Anelka, Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard, Michael Owen, Robinho, Robin van Persie, Emmanuel Adebayor, Dimitar Berbatov, Jermain Defoe, Carlos Tevez, Andrei Arshavin, Frank Lampard and Roque Santa Cruz.

Through a process of elimination, our stat-lovin’ friends at chickendinner have discovered that Nicolas Anelka will not successfully defend his top scorer award, and the eventual winner is quite surprising.

Here it comes…

Over the last decade Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink (2000-01) is the only player to have won it in his first season with a new club.
That rules out: Michael Owen, Carlos Tevez, Roque Santa Cruz

The last nine winners were all playing for a Big Four side.
That rules out: Robinho, Jermain Defoe

Cristiano Ronaldo is the only player to have been Premier League top-scorer without always playing as an out-and-out striker.
That rules out: Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, Andrei Arshavin

The last British top-scorer was Kevin Phillips in 1999-00.
That rules out: Wayne Rooney

Still standing: Fernando Torres, Didier Drogba, Nicolas Anelka, Robin van

The wife of football’s most nomadic Frenchman

Belgian-born choreographer and dancer Barbara Tausia married Nicolas Anelka in 2007, but their holy union didn’t get off to the best of starts. According to a story in the News of the World, the Chelsea star conducted an affair with a (less attractive) lady named Natalie Merriman. She claimed Nico sent her pictures and saucy messages, and even had the gall to text her on his wedding night.

Sadly there’s no room for player of the year Ryan Giggs here…

It’s another end of season list, but with a twist. To stop a roundup of the 08/09 Premier League team of the season descending into a top 4 love-in, we’ve tried to limit ourselves to only one player from each club. Sticklers for punishment that we are, we’re also rigidly sticking to a classic 4-4-2. It all ended up being a lot harder than we gave it credit for:

GK - Manuel Almunia (Arsenal)
Pulled off some super saves, stopped an inordinate amount of penalties, and has been good enough to have this ridiculous nonsense about him playing for England rise to the surface again. The Spanish keeper has come a long way from Jens Lehmann’s assessment he was to rubbish to play for Arsenal.

DR - Rory Delap (Stoke)
Rory Delap made a healthy contribution to securing Stoke’s top flight status, earning priceless league (and mental) victories against the big boys at a time when Stoke were looking the unfashionable new kids while Hull cakewalked it. He spent most of the season in midfield but his position is almost irrelevent for what he brings to the team.

DL - Luke Young (Aston Villa)
Playing completely out of position, covering for a crocked Wilfred Bouma and an absolutely dreadful Nicky Shorey, isn’t an ideal way to start your first season a new club, but Young has done the job manfully, without complaint and more often than not, impressively.

DC - Phil Jagielka (Everton)
One of the most reliable performers of the season until that heartbreaking injury, Jags has had a superb campaign, reaping benefits in the form of England

Reports claim Milan boss has already named his transfer targets

AC Milan boss Carlo Ancelotti has agreed to take charge of Chelsea in the summer, on the condition that he is given £50 million to revamp the squad, according to the Daily Telegraph:

An agreement has now been reached with the AC Milan coach, who is understood to have finally made a commitment to leave the San Siro and join Chelsea on a three-year contract.

As part of the negotiations the Italian has been promised the funds to land four high-profile players. The significant spending spree will, also, reaffirm owner Roman Abramovich’s commitment after another season of upheaval.

The newspaper claims that Emmanuel Adebayor, who AC Milan tried to sign last summer, Yuri Zhirkov and

Frenchman thanks Big Sam for the “best times of his career”

Chelsea forward Nicolas Anelka is quite the journeyman: the Frenchman has played for no less than five English clubs, and has also made time for two stints at Paris St-Germain, a season in Turkey and a Champions League-winning spell at Real Madrid.

Anelka has served under plenty of managers, but reserves the greatest amount of praise for Sam Allardyce. In the latest issue of ICON magazine, Nico explains why he was persuaded to join Bolton in 2006:

I met Sam Allardyce and I really liked him. He had a lot of confidence in me. I’d been told how things worked under him and when I met him I could see he was a good coach.

He’s tough, but at the same time, he’s funny. He was very honest. And he’s the best coach