The worst players currently plying their trade in the top flight

A survey of the worst Premier League players of all time as conducted by Top-Up TV arrived at Spoiler Towers this morning, and their ‘Relegation Utd’ looked a little something like this:

Massimo Taibi; Titus Bramble; Jean-Alain Boumsong; Abel Xavier; and Darren Peacock; Eric Djemba Djemba; Luke Chadwick; Carlton Palmer; Lee Dong Gook; Thomas Brolin; Diego Forlan; and manager Sammy Lee.

After wondering how the Top-Up TV team that didn’t include the man who Alan Mullery declared as the worst player ever to grace the top flight, Carl Leaburn, we decided that there are eleven men currently earning their keep in the Prem who would lose to this motley lot…

Paul Robinson, Blackburn
Proved that he didn’t leave his catalogue of errors at White Hart Lane when Mikel Arteta’s free-kick from a ridiculous angle caught him out on the opening day of the season.

Jlloyd Samuel, Bolton
Graduated from the same “I-may-have-a-great-name-but-I’m-not-a-great-footballer” club as Eric Djemba-Djemba and Quincy Owusu-Abeyie.

Titus Bramble, Wigan
Alright, so there was one player on their

Ego, false promises and treachery of the WAG lifestyle revealed

On the surface, being a WAG is bloody brilliant - loads of money, plenty of holidays and enough celebrity to get into the trendiest of provincial nightspots without hassle - but this life comes at a cost. Suzanne Franklin spent up to £8,000 a week on crap she didn’t need while dating West Ham’s fugly midfielder Nigel Quashie, but she recently revealed the “squalid reality” of her glamorous experience:

‘I fell for Nigel instantly,’ she says. ‘But he betrayed me. He picked me because I was innocent and removed from his industry. He manipulated and moulded me into somebody different. I became obsessed with money and the way I looked. I felt like a doll - an accessory to look good on his arm.

‘I got caught up in a shallow world where everyone backstabs and bitches. The women hate each other and the men just want to sleep around.’