As you peruse today’s links, consider the fun you could have with a pair of flip flops and some superglue…

Nigeria’s coach has demanded their Olympic team get haircuts before the Beijing tournament
[WithLeather]

Bet on Manchester Utd getting a third consecutive league title
[chickendinner]

Will vile scumbag Joey Barton be forced to take a pay cut?
[Football 365]

For our American fans: How to pick a Premier League team to support
[USA Today via The Offside]

The latest lady of loose morals who claims to have been at it with Cristiano Ronaldo
[Machochip]

Our friends at Grid Crasher believe they may have discovered the Stig’s identity
[Grid Crasher]

Everton star in kidnapping hell

If you ever travel to Nigeria, there is approximately a 98 per cent chance that you will be kidnapped. Accordingly, Norum Yobo, brother of Everton defender Joseph, has been held by an armed gang since Saturday:

The 27-year-old defender’s sibling Norum was grabbed with two pals leaving a nightclub in Nigeria at the weekend.
On Wednesday a group called Motive sent an email to a newspaper demanding a £5,500 ransom.

And they warned Yobo’s family not to involve cops “if you want him alive”.

£5,500 may sound like the kind of amount that Cristiano Ronaldo would nonchalantly spend on a pair of swimming shorts, but is a huge amount by local standards. While Yobo could undoubtedly afford to pay up, these situations can take time to resolve - Wilson Palacios’ 15-year-old brother was kidnapped last year and is still being held for ransom.

[More info here and here]