Like Voronin’s wardrobe, the tubby one’s website needs updating

Take a butchers at Ronaldinho’s official website, and you will be treated to the anachronistic beauty above. Ol’ Gaucho committed his future to AC Milan in mid-July, but obviously no one told the folks who control his web presence.

To be fair, the Olympic bronze medal winner hasn’t actually played a proper game for the Italians, but he has pulled a red and black shirt over his generous paunch on several occasions for the press. Either way, the sports brand with the swooshy logo who reportedly pressured the tricky midfielder to play in Beijing will be delighted that their logo still adorns his chest.

Tubby star criticised by Brazilian media for Olympic performance

We may place the importance of Olympic football somewhere between fencing and ultimate frisbee over here in Blighty, but that’s not quite the case in South America. Tuesday’s semi-final between Brazil and Argentina was treated like a World Cup game by the inhabitants of the football-mad continent, and accordingly, commercial pressures from sponsors such as Nike dictated that the team in yellow brought some superstars to Beijing.

Despite doing everything right on the pitch and saying his nightly prayers, Kaka was denied the Olympic dream by AC Milan, while the Italians let Ronaldinho trot off to the far east. This may have been a condition of his sale to the Serie A club, or perhaps the CBF felt his flamboyant style was more suited to garnering publicity for the national team.

Of course, Brazil were denied the gold medal that has so far eluded them by a convincing Argentinean side, and they face the prospect of a bronze medal match with the mighty Belgium tomorrow. In an article titled ‘The Fall of Ronaldinho’, Spanish

Nike find new way of endangering top sports stars, general public

Hot girlfriend and Nike angry at Ronaldo’s transvestite adventures

I’m no expert, but it is my understanding that attempting to conduct drug-fuelled sex parties with transvestite prostitutes can be detrimental to a relationship. Ronaldo (the buck-toothed one, not the Nereida Gallardo-boffing one) has learnt this lesson the hard way, as long-term girlfriend Maria Beatriz Anthony - who has no penis - has walked out on him:

According to Brazilian paper “Extra”, Maria Beatriz Antony, who lived with Ronaldo up to a few days ago, returned to her parents in Brasilia. Friends told the paper that she repeatedly complained about Ronaldo’s type of nightlife in Brazil since the player’s return because of an injured knee. So his latest escapade may only be the final straw that tipped the balance against him.

The paper also claims that Ronny’s lifelong sponsors Nike are considering ripping up his $100million contract, because transvestites, hookers and affairs don’t quite fit into their brand values. Jeez, these major corporations are so square…

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Take a hike De Niro, there’s a new talent in town

In what will turn out to be a shameless viral for the sports company with the big swoosh, Cesc Fabregas is being given the opportunity to answer the question absolutely no one is asking: what is the man behind the footballer really like? Click here to be a part of his forthcoming ‘An Audience with’-style show. Or don’t. Whatever.

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