James Collins handcuffed and arrested for no particular reason

If there is a fight outside swanky nightclub Funky Buddha on a weeknight, it’s safe to assume a Premiership star is involved. The Police made this very assumption last night, and put cuffs on West Ham defender James Collins. Unfortunately, it seems the Welshman was simply passing the popular WAG-snaring haunt on his way home from a meal at Nobu with his wife, and was caught up in the commotion. According to the Met Police, a man was “arrested and then subsequently de-arrested in Berkley Square”.

The Mirror says that Collins is now “considering his options”.

It’s not all Movida and Chinawhites, apparently…

While most footballers choose to spend the evening tensing their stomach muscles to impress glamour models, some, in their 30s, prefer to keep slightly more sophisticated company. The Spoiler is, of course, referring to Sol Campbell and Freddie Ljungberg - let’s face it, they’re a cut above.

Sol spent most of yesterday evening swanning around at the Inspiration Awards for Women at Cadogan Hall in fashionable London, stopping occasionally to pay compliments to Dame Helen Mirren (pictured after the jump). He was there with his girlfriend Fiona Barratt - the interior designer of choice for rich people like Richard Branson, who allows Sol to leave the house dressed like this.

Elsewhere in the capital, Ljungberg, still twiddling his thumbs football-wise, was caught leaving London’s number one sushi restaurant, Nobu. Kitted up in a sexy leather jacket, the skillful underpants model was there with a beautiful mystery woman, who looked just wonderful as she strode down the pavement playing Snake on her phone.