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Ten ways to meet footballers
[Soccerlens]

Ryan Shawcross to Liverpool
[Goal.com]

Spurs target Crystal Palace striker Victor Moses
[Daily Mail]

Darren Fletcher blames the referee - not Scotland’s ineptitude - for the Norway defeat
[The Guardian]

Fabio fumes at relaxed defending

Netherlands 2/ England 2
Thanks to suicide defending from Rio Ferdinand and Gareth Barry, The Three Lions endured a very uncomfortable first half in Amsterdam. Fabio Capello blamed an abundance of confidence, rather than general crappiness, for the unforced errors. Fortunately, Jermain Defoe saved their graces with his one-man rescue operation.

Spoiler bonus: British licence fee payers were outraged last night as the BBC decided to show Scotland’s woeful attempt to qualify for the World Cup. Lowlights after the jump…

The lowdown on Fergie’s promising new hitman

Oh Sir Alex, how you deceived us when you said you were not intending to sign any more players this summer!

United have officially secured the services of 21-year-old Senegalese striker Mame Biram Diouf. He currently plays for Norwegian side Molde SK - the club from which the Red Devils extracted Ole Gunnar Solskjær in 1996 - and will see out the remainder of the Tippeligaen season with them on loan before formally joining United in January.

At a press conference in Kuala Lumpur earlier today, Fergie said:

“We’ve been looking at him for two years.

“We weren’t intending on signing anyone else after last week - we feel we have a full squad - but the situation accelerated to a point where other clubs started to make bids, so we had to decide whether we acted or didn’t act.

“We decided to act and he’ll be the last person we sign.”

Here’s what you need to know about the latest addition to United’s squad:

• He is the current top scorer in the Tippeligaen 2009 with a tally of 12 goals
• He has scored 38 goals in73 games for the Norwegians
• He’s dead good at backflips (check out the video above)
• He has represented Senegal at youth, U21 and Olympic level
• Thankfully, he isn’t related to fellow Senegalese forward El Hadji Diouf
• Since joining Molde in 2007, he has been linked to Arsenal, West Brom, Feyenoord and a host of other European clubs
• He will have a medical in Manchester next week

Diouf put four past SK Brann last week, the first of which came after 23 seconds. Check out highlights after the jump…

Sandefjord star conveys joy via the medium of dry humping

While the majority of Europeans pine for the return of domestic football, our friends in Norway are midway through another Tippeligaen season.

Over the weekend, the titans of Strømsgodset faced the giants of Sandefjord, and fans were treated to a rather unusual celebration when the latter side found the back of the net. Scorer Admir Rascic and team-mate Fenan Salcinovicran to the side of the pitch and bowed down in prayer.

The respectful religious moment was ruined, however, when Espen Nystuen ran over and performed a move that wasn’t exactly family friendly.

Nystuen has since insisted that he “is heterosexual and this was only a joke”.

[TV2 via ONTD]

Ewww gross - Per Ciljan Skjelbred pulled a Zidane

Some disgusting action from the Tippeligaen, where Rosenborg BK’s Per Ciljan Skjelbred failed to keep his dinner down.

Without asking for even as much as a stick of chewing gum, the midfielder insisted that play continue of the pebble-dashed surface.

[101GG]

It’s the samba, but more rubbish than you’ve ever seen it before!

After retiring from football in March, lanky Norwegian Tore Andre Flo made a triumphant comeback with Franchise FC last week. Before linking up with Roberto Di Matteo in the land of concrete cows and stolen football teams, Flo put in a slightly cringe-worthy appearance on Norway’s version of Strictly Come Dancing.

The football kit is a rather unsubtle way of revealing his identity to Norwegians - it’s the equivalent of making Austin Healey dance around a rugby ball or Lisa Snowdon performing in an “I had sex with George Clooney” T-shirt.

[The Guardian]

Striker makes instant impression on his debut

Emile Heskey wasted a few chances for England on Saturday but none were anywhere near as clear cut as this. Wolves striker Chris Iwelumo, who has scored eight goals this season, stepped off the bench to make his Scotland debut against Norway and was presented with the opportunity to instantly become a hero. Unfortunately, he blew it in spectacular style.